I’d like to believe that things are getting better but they aren’t. I’d like to believe that things will change but they simply won’t. I keep dreaming that I have friends and that people will actually want me for once. Instead I have people who pretend to like me because they don’t have a fricken back bone to admit they don’t like me. Or they just ignore me, like that’s any better.
I’m so fucking tired of pleasing people.
Put on a smile no one cares how you really feel. If you’re not happy you don’t belong. You know that quiet fat girl over there sitting by herself? She’s weird. She’s a freak. She’s so boring. Look how fat she is.
Don’t skip any meals, keep eating, eat just a little more. Why can’t you realize mom, you are mostly to blame for this. You’re the reason I’m so fat. you keep shoving food down my throat and when I refuse you act like it’s my fault. I can’t talk to you about anything without you calling me a b.tch. I just wish you’d listen. I wish I had someone close to me who actually cares.
How’s everyone else doing today?
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‘You know that quiet fat girl over there sitting by herself? She’s weird. She’s a freak. She’s so boring. Look how fat she is.’ I’ve had assholes say those awful things to me back when I was in high school. But I didn’t want to believe them. I knew I was beautiful. I just wish there was a way I could help you see yours. It doesn’t matter how you look or how you dress or who you are I think you’re a good person. I know I don’t know you that much but I like you already because I can relate. How are you?
well I’m one of those people, like you, who does think they’Re beautiful even if people don’t say it. and I try not to believe what people say when they talk like that, but I just don’t feel it all the time.
And obviously I’m not well, but I’m holding on. how are you?
That’s good to hear. Me, I’m trying not to lose faith in life and I’m hanging on to my emotions cause I don’t want to lose them even if it means keeping the pain.
that sounds like a good plan. what’s your name?
I’m Liz. What’s yours?
Steph
and I would always dream that liz was my name when I was little. I’m jealous(:
Steph isn’t a bad name I like it. :]
well thank you