so I told a friend how I feel and she nearly cried. I’ve come to terms (somewhat) with the way I am. I don’t see a point where I will feel happy, for any length of time. I will just survive as long as I can muster up the will to go on. I hope there is no life after death; the thought of eternity scares me. I can’t even imagine any meaningful existence that lasts forever. Sometimes it seems overwhelming that there is a tomorrow, much less an everlasting existence. I hope for the big sleep, where I lay this body down and just cease to exist. That thought brings me comfort; believing there is an end.
1 comment
I am new to this site so I don’t know how things work exactly. Please seek counseling. There is help out there if you would search it out. My brother died by suicde in 2008…I’m not a professional so I don’t know what to say to you other than there are people out there who care about you. PLEASE don’t do what you are thinking about. When you are at your worst you can only go up from there, right?