At 7, I ate an entire bottle (probably only 50) orange-flavored baby aspirin. First stomach pump. 2 months later, I drank a cup of dishwashing liquid. Second stomach pump. At 8, I ate the bottle full of adult aspirin. 3rd stomach pump.
Never wrote a suicide note, just wanted to get the hell out of here & didn’t even know why. Got the standard childrens’ shit, bullied, beaten up & shunned. Tried so f*cking hard to keep my head down so noone would notice me. Dad said I sang like I had my head in a bucket. He said I was fat; I wasn’t, though. I looked pretty normal, except for big, buck teeth & no chin.
Kept trying through the years; razor blades, drugs, car exhaust. Nothing was permanent & I didn’t have an internet to research effective methods. Saw “Dr. Champion” once a month & had to take “Cathy’s Crabby Pills” (my siblings name for the damn things). Didn’t know shit.
Final attempt was when I was 24, ended up in an ER with a stupid Buck knife sticking out of my stupid leg; it got stuck in the bone.
I made it through & found some clues & found some answers. I’m not Christian, but I have my faith.
I’m new on this site. If my posts sound like I think I know stuff, then yeah, I guess I do a little.
Cat
2 comments
Can you share your knowledge on suicide methods, Ladycat?
story of my life. but i never got bullied, i’m sorry that you did =(