My soul is an empty shell of a darkish gray hue. A mirror that refuses to show any reflection of me. Untouched by the light and consumed by the darkest night. A paranoia unheard of in lamented skies up above the heavens. Misguided by screams of apparitions telling me to bleed. A lonely curse set upon me by the winds of time. If I could be as happy as a beautiful swan flying over seas too far for me to reach. If only the light of the sun could touch me, or the moons shadow could swallow me in unending bliss. Then I could fly, higher than anyone before me. Too reach a shallow heaven shrouded in tears. A palace decayed by time, as my very soul. To reach the realization that happiness is only a perception of thought, but I still struggle to reach just a small part of it.
I know this made no sense, but hope you like it,
173 comments
This is for you Dancerina14, you wanted me to make a post for you and I tried my very best.
YOU made all the sense in the world
It’s beautiful. And it makes a lot of sense. It’s true as well. My soul has been blackened by depression, and sometimes I feel so empty I think I’ll implode. I love the swan metaphor too :]
On a different note, I’m not going to let you be lonely. Don’t be weirded out, but I took a nap this afternoon and dreamt you woke me up with a water gun. I was so confused. XD also, there was a sunshower, so I was spinning and dancing, and I wish you had been there. :] So how are you today?
🙂 thank you. In estatic that you liked it, lol sorry for shooting you with a water gun lol. Well overall today’s been pretty well, right now I’m just sitting and listening to music. How was your day?
You are very welcome. :] and it’s okay, I’ll just have to get you back someday. XD and I’m glad you had a good day, mine was pretty good too because it was a short school day. And I sat outside for my lunch too because itnwas nice for a while, now there’s a thunderstorm. But I love rain. :] what are you listening to? I was going to post a song for you, but you beat me to that. Look up bruises by chairlift. It’s kinda weird, but it grows on you.
Hi Brandon this was really well written. I knew you were talented. <3 Keep writing. *puts bandage on your bleeding heart* You're such a beautiful soul. I'm happy you're my friend. ⤠♪♫•*¨*•.lalalalaaa.•*¨*•♫♪ â¤
O.O I can feel depression looming over me.
Hi Lisa. I can see that you and Brandon are getting chummy. Hee-hee! 😀 Good to see everyone making friends.
-_- And now I gotta deal with my greatest foe. Ka-pow! Happy power activated! Begone suicide! I command thee to leave!
Liz- thanks. Il glad you all liked it, and your a beautiful soul too sweetie, I’m so very lucky to have such and awsome and lovely friend as you. And beat suicide to The ground for me.
Lisa- lol I look forward to the day you get me back, and agh I love rain and thunderstorms, so serene, right now I’m listening to satricon, more than likely not your type of music, and il look up that song right now:)
Haha, yeah, I will Brandon. Btw, when’s your birthday and what year were you born? Mine is July 9, 1990.
July 2 1994
Well look at that we have the same zodiac. The crab.
Here I googled this: 😛
The Crab
June 22 to July 22
Traditional
Cancer Traits
Emotional and loving
Intuitive and imaginative
Shrewd and cautious
Protective and sympathetic
On the dark side….
Changeable and moody
Overemotional and touchy
Clinging and unable to let go
🙂 What else do we have in common?
Liz- Hi there! I missed talking to you yesterday :]
Brandon- Be prepared, I’m ruthless. I will have a whole arsenal of water weapons. You will be soaked.I’ve never heard of satricon o.O now I’m curious. Did ya like the song?
Liz- well we like alot of the sane music, we both like anime, I guess we can be both considers outcasts, lol what other stuf do you like
Lisa- yep I likes the song :). Not bad at all, and woo I’m terrified Now, Scary. So enlighten me about more about you. You like dancing, I know your favorite tv shows, what other music bands do u like.
My favorite part is when re guy sings about frozen strawberries, because it’s a big thing that I’m a strawberry because I eat so many of them. What’s your favorite kind of fruit? And I looove alternative bands, but I don’t have any that I like all of their songs. I love when hey have weird names too. Some that I like are cage the elephant, mika, I love john Mayer, two door cinema club, and a lot more :] my favorite song right now is falling in love at a coffee shop. The alternate version music video of that is fantastic, you should way h it. What do you like?
Hey Lisa sorry I didn’t talk to you the other day. I was a grumpy crab. ^^
🙂 Haha our names are almost the same, but they mean the same thing right. What was it now… Oh! Consecrated to God. Meh, I’m an atheist.
Brandon, my mind’s gone blank again. But I’ll try to think. Let’s see. I like to watch Golden Girls and Three’s Company. I like to dye my hair into the craziest colors. Red, purple, hot pink, blue, etc. Now it’s all black, my natural hair color. No actually it’s really dark brown, it just appears black.
Doot doot doo doo… I like to wear black clothing. Do any of you believe in ghosts? You know the paranormal?
=P I’m listening to Lady Gaga’s Electric Chapel.
No worries Liz :] and yeah our names are very similar, my friend Olivia calls me Lis, so that would be even more confusing. And I call her Liv. So…Lis, Liz, and Liv. There are too many of us xD
I also have a friend that dyes her hair practically every day, I love that she does that. I was going to dye my hair blonde, but everyone said they wouldn’t help me because they liked my hair too much. I was pissed.
I don’t believe in the paranormal, but I do believe in reincarnation. When I see wild butterflies I know they’re the people I love that are gone :]
I’m just listening to the rain :] most beautiful music in the work other than crickets xD
What color hair do you have Lisa?
It rained yesterday. Rained really hard. Too bad it wasn’t a thunderstorm. I wanted to see lightning and hear thunder. Hmm, it almost felt like the earth was crying you know. I know I was. It sucked but it was…purifying.
Wild butterflies are departed souls huh. How about fireflies? The wind? Everything around us to the dirt beneath the soles of our feet. Nice.
Liz I love to wear dark clothing, I’m wierd like that too, And yes I believe in the paranormal, I’ve had an experience with a lost soul before.
Lisa- that’s awsome, in music, I like dimmu burger, striborg, emperor, Beethoven, Chopin, autumn tears, rammstien, coldworld, lustre, and alot more lol. My favorite fruit would have to be grapes, I absolutely love them.
Really Brandon, you had an experiance with a lost soul? What happened?
There’s been many sighting of spirits in my town. You could say it’s haunted. The most frequent one is the faceless child. Creepy.
Liz- I have very short dark brown hair, but it gets kinda gold and reddish during the summer. I think anything beautiful could be a departed soul. A waterfall, a dandelion, anything in nature.
I wear weird clothes, but not only dark ones. Today I wore suspenders, I like crazy dresses, floofy skirts, feather earings, and huge necklaces. :]
Brandon- Your music sounds very cool. Did you watch the video? My friend and I are actually making another version of it for our other friends school project. I have to stare dreamily into his eyes. I just end up laughing xD and yum, grapes are good. I like the green ones. So question: What book would you like to be the main character of?
It wasn’t much, but I live in areas where the civil war battles took place, and once while driving by a battle field I swear to god I seen a ghost, I may be mistaken but it looked Like a soldier of that era. And damn that’s creepy, when I visit your town your going to have to show me 🙂
Speaking of books, Brandon, Lisa, what books are your favorites? Mine are mostly historical fiction written by Philippa Gregory. The Other Boleyn Girl is a must read. There’s also a movie of it too.
Lisa you’re hair sounds pretty. I like dresses too but I don’t own any. I would love to dress as a gothic lolita. ^^
Idk, no i dint watch the video yet I will, and idk.
That is creepy. You’re practically living in a graveyard. There must be many unmarked graves around the world though.
Oh Brandon I’m not sure about you visiting my town someday. I’m afraid you won’t like it here. It’s not a big city. I won’t say whereabouts I live. Maybe when I’m comfortable enough I’ll tell you.
Ok
That’s unbelievably creepy Brandon.
I like historical fiction, but I also love fantasy, trashy romance novels (cliché yes I know), and deep realistic fiction. One book I loved was somethig like What life was like, it was tragic. And the other Boleyn girl is fantastic, theocie at least. And thanks Liz :] you should buy a dress. I used to let people dictate my style, but I don’t care anymore.
You guys would hate my town even more. It’s small, narrow minded, rich, and snobby. Nothing happens and everyone knows all of your business. I can’t wait to get out of here.
I don’t even live in a town, I live in the country
Yeah I should buy a frilly girlish dress. Today I was walking down the street with my hoody up minding my own business when suddenly I got a bunch of girls whistling at me thinking I was a boy, AGAIN! Damn, I’m a girl for gods sake. This happens to me alot, and I’m pretty sure those chicks weren’t lesbian or bi. No one has the guts to come out in my town.
That sounds nice. Is it really quiet where you live Brandon? And another question: If you could be anyone for a day, who would it be?
Ya it is, and if I could be anyone for a day I would have to say someone who is perfectly happy with ther life:/. What about you.
You should Liz! And yeah, barely anyone comes out in my town. Even though we have a gsa and stuff, people aren’t very accepting. Except my two friends that are going out, ones bi and ones lesbian. And my ‘lover’ whos bi.
I want to wear a dress for one day lol
Where I live is quiet and gossip gets around too. Believe me when I say ‘town’ it’s a cover for what my birthplace really is. I live in the middle of nowhere. But it’s beautiful here. I like that much about it. Woodtrails, the lakes, just nature. Serenity.
I would be my friend Olivia. She’s got crazy confidence, is always happy, and always has ten guys yapping at her heels xD Who was your first crush? Or is that too invasive? Mines funny, so I’ll tell you if you tell me :]
I don’t have a first crush, I’ve never really liked a girl before,
I’d love to see you in a dress Brandon xD I’d do your makeup and you’d be the prettiest it ever. Amd ooh where you live sounds beautiful Liz.
Hmmm you haven’t liked anyone, or just you haven’t liked a girl?
Yup I will buy that dress. I’m going into the city some time this month. I’ll get a new haircut, dye my hair hot pink again, buy clothes, and buy my first cellphone. I was too cheap to buy one in the first place. =P Hey maybe I’ll post a picture of myself one day so you all can see me.
lol Brandon 🙂 I bet you’ll look super hot in a dress.
Sorry just noticed that glaring error, you’d be the prettiest GUY ever xD
No one really, not a guy or girl, and speaking of cell phones, I love testing lol, I text all the time.
That’s exciting Liz :] and I don’t think I’ll post a picture…I’m too shy. I’d be worried you’d think I was ugly :/
I’ve never had a crush either. I had my nose in the books all the time to even notice. And thank you Lisa.
Haha I think I’m ugly as shit,
Nobody is ugly. We’re all beautiful. I think you and Brandon are the most beautiful people I met.
Brandon when I get my cellphone I’ll make sure to give you my number so you can text me anytime. I just have to figure out how to use it first. I’m bad at technology. haha
I text a lot too, I think it’s a teenager thing xD and haha wow. My first crush was on my best friend in kindergarten. We used to play at each others houses everyday, and people would sing that kissing taunting song at us xD As for you not liking anyone, you can have a crush on me? xD just kidding. xP
I think you’re both beautiful too :] I just have low self esteem you know?
Haha lol, why can’t I have a crush on you? Joking ha. That’s a pretty funny story lol. Personally I don’t think il ever have a girl friend. And il probably be a virgin for the rest of my life. I’m not ugly. Idk 🙁
And Liz. That sounds Super, 🙂
That’s not true Brandon. And if bothers you that much, I will me your girlfriend. No joke. There’s no one I like right now, and you’re fantastic :] unless you think that’s weird xD Okay question: What talent haveyou always wished you had?
Virginity is something sacred. Don’t give it up to just anyone even if you’re feeling desperate. I’m a virgin, still waiting for the perfect man or woman. If there is such a thing. Actually I’m more concerned about my future.
Madonna, Like A Virgin. 🙂 haha funny song.
♪♫ Like a virgin. Hey! Touched for the very first time. ♫♪
Haha um idk.. and I wished I had the talent to write good, most of my writings suck, what talent do you always wishes you had
O.O Now it feels like I’m miles away… should I go?
Liz I agree with you, no I’m not desperate lol. I’m more concerned about my future too, it’s just I’m a hopeless romantic, it’s not hard for me to fall in love with someone, tho I’ve never liked anyone lol. That makes no sense
No. Liz you don’t have to go, why ask such a silly question
Your writing is good :] and I wish I could do backflips and handsprings and stuff. I’m always jealous of people that can do that. The most I can do is a split. XD if you had the money and ability, what would you invent?
Lisa are serious? I’m starting to think you actually have a ‘thing’ for Brandon. What’s going on?
No Brandon I wasn’t saying you were desperate. Always keep your future in mind. Not girls, they can only disappoint.
Haha that would-be awsome talent to have, and I have no idea. You
The silly question was because Lisa is all eyes and ears only for you. T_T What about me?
Yes don’t go Liz! And I think I get what you mean Brandon, it’s easier to fall desperately in love with someone than to really like them. Ha! Fellow hopeless romantics unite! That’s why I love that video falling in love at a coffee shop xD btw, the questions are for you too Liz :]
Liz darling, I would give anything for anyone. If there was a miracle cure to either of your happiness I would give everything I had to get it to you :] If I’m acting weird today it’s because I have a headache the size of an elephant and can only follow one train of thought. I’m sorry honey.
Dam I have a headache too
Ahaha I know we all live far from each other but I have to ask. Lisa, do you like ‘like’ Brandon? ;P
My back aches
Pity party! xD I can’t stop falling asleep sitting up it hurts so bad. Oh well. Question for both of you: If the sky could be another color, what would it be?
Violet. Hey I answered your question, why can’t you answer mine? -_- Oh well.
That’s a good color, mine would be salmon or orange. And Liz, either answer wouldn’t be good. If I said yes, Brandon would probably feel awkward because he probably doesn’t like me. If I say no, and he likes me (not suggesting he does) then it would hurt him. Either way it would be weird. Sorry?
Red
In all honesty. I do like you Lisa, and it wouldn’t hurt me if you said no, lol it good
Makes sense. We’re all friends here. 🙂
Nice colors.
I’m eating homemade blueberry pie. Yummers
Umm lol. Ur making me hungry
Brandon…as a friend?
And Liz, yumm. I love pie. My sister made cookie bars, I’m trying not to go in the kitchen and eat ten of them.
Umm idk Lisa. Your choice ,
You’re making me so nervous, okay, I’ll get it out there. I do like like you Brandon, for lack of a better phrase. I was just worried if I told you that that you would run away. :/
🙂 Eat Brandon. A growing man needs to eat.
A growing lady on the other hand… nah, eat Lisa.
Whoa, my belly’s feeling much softer now. I gotta exercise more. 😛
Aha! Lisa I knew you were trying to steal my man! 😀 haha lol
Lol ok Liz
Lisa i wouldn’t run away lol. It’s ok. Sorry for making you nervous though
Alright Liz, I’ll go eat those cookies. xD Nah.
And wait Brandon, did I just admit my secret to you and you don’t like me? I’m gonna go hide in a hole now. xP
,___,
[¬.¬] – Teenagers. :]
/)__)
-“–“-
Noo I do like you Lisa, alot
Ahh Liz! I love your owl, it’s adorable. :]
And really Brandon? Wow, I’ve never liked a guy that liked me back. You’re the first :]
🙂 so I’m the first, yep I like u alot , I’m sorry Im not really good umm talking, I dnt what to say…
Lisa and Dhalsim. Sittin’ on a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G
LisA and DhAlsiM. SittIn’ On a tRee K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Fuck. Brandon, something came up. It’s really bad. Can I break that promise we made? Pretty please with sugar on top?
NOW you show up X-Boy?
And that’s okay Brandon, because I’m usually very good at talking. I really wish you were at my school, instead of having to talk to you through cyberspace.
Liz talk to me what happened, I cnt stop you if u cut just tell me
Liz, what’s going on?
Ya Lisa I wish 🙁 Do u want my cell number, ..
Umbra, dont.
It’s okay, just means it’s harder. But everything is already harder for us, right? And of course I want your cell number! :]
Nothing. It’s not important.
howdy ya’ll. Umbra I show up and suddenly you have to cuT? *sMacK*
Liz, if you’re cutting because of it, then it must be important. Tell me? And X-Boy, don’t take it personally. I’ve missed you. Where have you been?
Yeah, sorry for… not being around, I’m just been feeling weak, n just dont have what it takes to… iono be upbeat*(?). So, Dhalsim is pimpin’ it uuuh
Lisa it’s 8043577848
Liz u can write it down so u can text me when u get a phone, but it is important what’s wrong, listen if cutting your self will make you feel better, do it, I will too. That’s how much I care about you
sorry guys, bbl, im tryin’ to get back into my workout habit! n Umbra don’t cut maAAn, … maybe get a belt
Ha no prob x boy. How it been btw
X-Boy, I’ve just been missing talking to you. I’m glad you’re getting back into working out :]
Liz, please don’t? Tell us? I’ll take your pain for you
Brandon, I’ll text you so you can get my number. And don’t you go cutting too. Then I’ll need to cut and it’ll just be a horrible chain reaction.
been feeling down mannn, like always. wher umbra at? don’t let her cut guys!
do you mind if i call you Dhalsim?
hi Nidorina =)
Not call. Text if u want
haha, na i meant reffer to yo as Dhalsim, n why can’t i call you man? =\
anywais bbl. Bye La Mumba, bye Nidorina, bye Dhalsim, and Bye everyone else. ttyl
What is going on guys? Am I missing something? And wait, Brandon, you don’t want me to call you? I wasn’t planning on it..but may I ask why?
haha Nidorina he was talking to me
n som1 top umbra from cuttin
Did you seriously just make us a couple name X-Boy? And why didn’t you call him that, sexist. xD
I can’t stop her. She’s disappeared and none of us have any other way to contact her.
Idk :(. It wasent us that made Liz sad was it. And Lisa I would rather text for a little before and if we talk.
Were all here for you Liz, I love you with undying love sweetie, for me don’t do any thing ur regret please
I don’t think it was us? And that makes sense Brandon…I just had a mini heartattack because that made me think that you were actually a 40 year old man, you know?
And Liz, I love you too. Don’t do anything rash please? For all of us?
Lol. I’m a 16 year old teenager lol,
sorry to interrupt but brandon that writings really good
Thanks :). But it seems stupid idk
You know, stranger danger? It sounds like something out of a health class talk. The creepy man says: “yes, let’s text, but I can’t call you” because he wouldn’t be able to disguise his voice? Nevermind, I’m just neurotic.
And shut up Brandon. It was good. 🙂
Ok if you say so but it was good but i got to go bye
@dancerina14 – “Nidorina” is a Pokémon. Not a couple name you silly girl.
@Nihilism00 – I’m cutting. Cut too if you want. It won’t make me feel any better.
@X-Boy – Blades are better than belts. Did you mean Pokémon? -_-
PS STOP LOVING ME. ALL OF YOU.
hey umbra, sorry about earlier, i was rushing. i had some things to do. yeahh its the pokeman
I feel tres mauvais, hey you’re canadian, do you speak french? parlez vous francais. LA Vie, pour moi, c’est dur . =b
et je vois
que pour toi
c’est dur aussi
ma petit
=b
@X-Boy – Non, je parle une autre langue. Je déteste ma vie. Oui, je souhaite le français était ma deuxième langue, mais il n’est malheureusement pas.
ok back to english. =b what are you doing? I”m watchin 28 Jours Apres avec mon amie ( mon chien ), one of my favorite movies. just got done grubbin’
My life, is a hard one too. So Canada eyh, have you been to the US?
I like the French Language, it’s pronounciation is straight-forwward. On the other hand the english is to wAaAvY.
You’re french is much more advance then mine though, so maybe I didn’t get some parts =b
Les adolescents sont longues à traiter. I’m not doing anything. I just wish I could watch the movie Stay. Je suis incroyablement ennuyé. I’m sad too. It’s hard to even smile.
X-Boy, google translate. I speak another language. Not French. I’ve never been to the US.
SHIT! ಠ_ಠI made mistakes. -_- Meh.
haha what happened, i was walkin the dogs sorry
google translate chewed up my words and spit them back out
Umbra,, im having a nose operation this month
cause I can’t breath through it, and because of it i cannot function right
i can’t keep up with anything, so I must stand back
What’s wrong with your nose? Are you ill or is it cosmetics?
Oh.
cause i dont want you to get any wrong ideas about me or anything,,, i just can’t keep up with anything. I don’t have what it takes. I can’t hold a conversation. I’m straight out sufficating every second
na not cosmetic haha
It’s okay. I like you.
Thanks, I care about you too =) . but all i can do right now. Is stand back, n just leave some comments and/or posts here and there.
I hate this, its such a stupid excuse ‘cAuSe of mY noSe’ , but that’s just the main thing right now, under that there’s bunch of other bullshit
and im’ so sorry cause, I can’t even think for any1 else at the moment and im sorry. I care about you Umbra and i want to help , but i dont have the mind for that right now, All i can think of is for myself right now
What do you mean by ‘wrong ideas’?
Why stand back? I wish I could visit you. Thanks for caring.
I was thinking only for myself today too. Rough times. It’s ok.
wrong ideas cause,,,, i dont have what it takes to ‘mind’ for others at the moment, like you, and everyone else. But im having the operation this month. We’ll see what happens,
In the meantime im just going to stand back ( you have to understand how I feel ‘because of the nose thing’ .. it’s absolute torture ..like you have no idea haha .. SERIOUSLY!! )
I hope it goes well and you get better.
Hey i wish I could visit too someday
It might happen if I’m still alive.
haha yes me too.
:] I always say this but I think you’re really cool. Smart too.
haha well u know.. it is the truth. =b As for you… i don’t know what i think about you? ha
i guess you’re just, normal. =b
^^ There’s really nothing memorable about me.
but I did see a comment where you said you were going to dye your hair pink, that’s pretty aWesomE
No I don’t think I’m normal. If I was I’d be like the people in my town. Normal is sickening. I’d be anything but that.
Yes i know what you mean, i didnt mean it like that though =b
i was going to say you’re like… a Jean Grey haha
or maybe Storm?
Thanks I guess. What’s a Jean Grey?
either they’re both freakin awesome,
Whaat… c’mon if you know Zelda you must know what im talking about
Oh that Jean Grey. And Storm. X-Men? Yup. The heroines. Cool. Thanks. ^^
You could be my very own Cyclops lol haha
ha, you silly goose
Rugrats is on
=P You really cheered me up. Thank you for talking to me.
You remind me of a character from a show I used to watch on teletoon. It’s called Sixteen. Jude was his name.
awh man, I’m glad for that. Well, I tire, for the lack of oxygen that gets pumped through to the brain ( BECAUSE OF MY NOSE, BLAME THE NOSE SERIOUSLY IF YOU KNOW SOME1 WITH THE SAME PROBLEM, IT’S TRUE IT IS HELL ) . anyway, If you don’t mind im going to sit down now and spend some time with my dog and watch cartoons, then shower, n maybe work out if i have what it takes, ttyl, buh bye =)
mhmm never heard of that show. =b
I don’t mind. I’m just going to go sleep now. Goodnight.
nighty night