epiphany amongst garbage

so it seems to me that i need to make a drastic change in my personality because i really do care too much about other people and their well being. i force myself it be the best person to everyone i meet and genuinely listen and care what other people have to say, but it seems even tho i strive to do this when i wanna kill myself constantly and struggle through every waking moment the ones who know nothing of that pain dont even lift a finger for me or even try to be good to me, everyone i have ever met has eventually turned out to be another bad part in my life , i used to blame myself for this thinking maybe it was the depression or maybe i wasn’t cool enough but that is very wrong. the fact is , everyone is a fuckin asshole and since they are so oblivious to this fact they step on all toes and break all hearts . so i have decide to not care anymore i am not going to be an asshole but i’m not going to help anyone out anymore or listen to their stupid run of the mill grievances , exception of course of the suicide project which in fact is the reason that i haven’t gone on a killing rampage already , so let me know you feel the same way because i know there is more of me out there.