It’s so odd. The extent in which I can relate to some people on here. This is going to be another whiny teenage story. In comparison to your life, perhaps it’s insignificant.
Like most I had an extremely happy childhood. I has my traumas (deaths in the family, etc) but they never afftected me. Up until I was about 13 I never knew sadness. I suppose it was the cruelty, the obsession with appearance and just utter unacceptance that completely baffled me in high school. We can all remember it. I had come in contact with a girl on a social networking site. A pretty and interesting girl, with an arm full of scars. It didn’t take long for me to follow in her footsteps, coming up with elaborate stories whenever someone would ask how I got a cut.
I’m an artist. That’s the only medium in which I can express myself, I could never tell anyone about my problems. Depression wasn’t so hard to deal with until I lost my soulmate. He was the one, and I will always love him. After he left it became severe. I didn’t want to breathe anymore. I tried to kill myself and failed. It took me a whole year to be strong again, and I’ve fallen back into it. Everything is terrible now. But yesterday, the boy I love now asked me to be his girlfriend. I want to be happy, but I can’t help thinking I’m going to be a great burden, having a suicidal lover. I’ll have to tell him all of my secrets. I can’t get close to him either, I am so fearful he will leave just like the other. So I get by dreaming of being in my comfortable coffin, buried so deep that I will never hear another soul again. Returned to the earth where I belong.
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4 comments
I feel like that. after the guy I loved told me we weren’t meant to be, I told him I wanted to commit suicide, after a long discussion he sounded really mad at me, like he didn’t want to know that, I don’t blame him. who wants to know the person you love is gonna kill themselves. but yeah, I totally know what you’re feeling, youre not alone
Ha suicidal lover. =P good one. i like it. maybe u should find another ‘suicidal lover’. that way the 2 of yous can totally relate and maybe take each other’s own life one day and pass on together. sounds morbidly romantic.
sorry brokensdowns i’m not an expert in these types of situations so i tend to not fully understand the extent of the pain u are in cuz of some guy ur obviously in love with. well not ‘some guy’ to u. the ‘ONE’ like whoa =) hey hang in there. i bet other people on here might be of more help to u than me. god knows there’s ALOT of them out there. they’ll be drawn to your post like magnets lol
so yeah byes
@someonesaveme – maybe he got mad cuz he didn’t really love you in the 1st place
=P sorry just sayin’
no, he really did love me, I promise you. he was more into me than I was him, then it started climbing to where we both fell in love we wanted to do everything together, go everywhere, all around the world, but he pretty much said after several months that we couldn’t be together since I will be going to a different school in another state.