hi, i’m new to this.
for the past year i’ve felt increasingly depressed. i started taking the pill about a year ago and i was thinking this was linked but i went to the doctors and she said that it was me, not the pill.
i’ve never had a decent outlet such as this. no one seems to understand or care about how i feel. i have a number of good friends but they think that the way i feel is just feeling ‘down’ but its not, its deeper than that. i barely ever feel happy. i put on a brave face so that noone has to put up with my mood. but lately i feel like i’m having a mental breakdown. i can’t cope with anything. i’ve just had my A level exams, my parents are splitting up, i’m in love with my best friend who has just told me that he’s moving to dubai in the next 3 weeks and i feel so lonely. i have contemplated suicide before with an overdose but the only thing really keeping me here is my younger brother. i’m trying to stay strong for him.
i don’t want to be put on anti-depressants. i don’t want my life to be dependant on them.
6 comments
Well, I hope this site will be a good outlet for you, so far it’s been helping me cope or at least get through the day by reading everyone else’s posts and posting some of mine.
Yeah my depression has increased immensely over the past couple of months. I was prone to it since my teens, but there was always something to distract me from it and for a few years, the good stuff had outweighed the bad but now….every day it’s a struggle and it is exhausting.
Just one that one bad thing lead to another in your life and timing sucks, with your parents splitting up and your best friend moving to dubai. Perhaps you can use this site to help you cope too, having an outlet helps, trust me.
There’s always someone willing to respond and listen, it may take some time because a lot of posts do tend to roll in but just know your words are being read & you are being heard.
I hope you can avoid being put on anti depressants, hang in there. Try to spend as much time as you can with your best friend before he leaves and keep in touch with him as much as you can, and keep in mind that your younger brother needs you.
I only just found this site today so im new to this too and like you I feel lonely most of the time. Trust me when I say you dont become dependant on depression tablets. Ive tried about 5 different kinds and none of them worked but at the end of the day im glad I tried them. You’d be aswell giving them a shot. Good luck
I’m in exactly the same situation, I dare to say.
It started when an American exchange student came here at school and I fell in love with her. I was completely in love with her, but she got someone else for a boyfriend here. And she will go back to America within 4 weeks or so, and then I’ll never see her again.
I’ve been in a depression for this entire year, and especially when I had to leave some friends I’d just made in Denmark and probably would never see them again either. Everybody I became friends with was either impossible to reach or gone.
At this moment I have tried to commit suicide thrice over the last three months; one time by drinking a mixture of hydrochloric acid and chlorine, the second time by cutting my pulse and the third time by taking in a large amount of foxglove… I broke off every time because I couldn’t stand the idea that my little brother, who has hearing impearments and a delay in understanding things and almost completely relies on me as his big brother, would have to find me laying dead on the ground.
I don’t really care about my parents, my other family or my friends, but it’s just my little brother. If I’d die he’d probably also die out of helplessness, and I won’t allow to let my suicide be his pass-away.
It might help when you talk to someone about it; about your life, what causes your depressions, why you want to go – but do choose the right person!
Not your parents, and absolutely not one of your teachers! The first thing they’ll do is nag about that you can’t do that because it’d affect your friends and family and so on. And if you say you don’t care they’ll give you special treatments, or at least threaten you with it.
Maybe it’s a good idea to talk about it with your best friend. Tell him that it bothers and affects you greatly that he moves away from you. Tell him that he’s in love with you, or if you’ve already told him the two of you should try to make those three weeks the best two weeks you’ve ever had. That may help get your mind of the depression.
If you still feel depressed after that I advise you go talk to another best friend. First try out carefully with everybody what their opinion is about it. Make it sound indirectly, as if it’s just a subject you randomly wonder about. If he or she isn’t so conservative about it you should try to talk. It can help telling other people what’s on your mind.
Think of your little brother as well. Think of how it would affect him if you’d be gone. Be prepared to suffer and endure emotional pain because you love him. Even though you’ll be dead if you commit suicide I bet you don’t want him to commit a form of suicide as well. If he mainly depends on you then you should at least stay alive until he’s grown away from you a bit more (meaning he doesn’t depend on you too much to affect his life deadly). That’s the time to commit suicide.
I myself have made that decision. I won’t commit suicide until my handicapped little brother has grown up enough not to be affected deadly by my death. Even though I’m in the deepest depression ever, and even though I don’t care about how my friends and teachers and parents and family would feel, I’m not going to let fall my little brother for my sake. He must at least get a chance before I leave.
Think about that. The rest won’t be affected as badly as my brother. If that’s the same with you, just wait a few years. When the time’s there you can commit suicide, and if you don’t want anyone to stop you I’d advise you to take in at least 7g of dried foxglove – it’ll kill you in an instant.
Q.E.D.: Stay for your brother, have fun with the one whom you’re in love with, talk to someone who’ll be most likely to understand you (mine lived in Denmark), and don’t go doubt when people say it’ll affect your parents and friends etc.
I’m in exactly the same situation, I dare to say.
It started when an American exchange student came here at school and I fell in love with her. I was completely in love with her, but she got someone else for a boyfriend here. And she will go back to America within 4 weeks or so, and then I’ll never see her again.
I’ve been in a depression for this entire year, and especially when I had to leave some friends I’d just made in Denmark and probably would never see them again either. Everybody I became friends with was either impossible to reach or gone.
At this moment I have tried to commit suicide thrice over the last three months; by cutting my pulse and by taking in poison… but I broke off every time because I couldn’t stand the idea that my little brother, who has hearing impearments and a delay in understanding things and almost completely relies on me as his big brother, would have to find me laying dead on the ground.
I don’t really care about my parents, my other family or my friends, but it’s just my little brother. If I’d die he’d probably also die out of helplessness, and I won’t allow to let my suicide be his pass-away.
It might help when you talk to someone about it; about your life, what causes your depressions, why you want to go – but do choose the right person!
Not your parents, and absolutely not one of your teachers! The first thing they’ll do is nag about that you can’t do that because it’d affect your friends and family and so on. And if you say you don’t care they’ll give you special treatments, or at least threaten you with it.
Maybe it’s a good idea to talk about it with your best friend. Tell him that it bothers and affects you greatly that he moves away from you. Tell him that he’s in love with you, or if you’ve already told him the two of you should try to make those three weeks the best two weeks you’ve ever had. That may help get your mind of the depression.
If you still feel depressed after that I advise you go talk to another best friend. First try out carefully with everybody what their opinion is about it. Make it sound indirectly, as if it’s just a subject you randomly wonder about. If he or she isn’t so conservative about it you should try to talk. It can help telling other people what’s on your mind.
Think of your little brother as well. Think of how it would affect him if you’d be gone. Be prepared to suffer and endure emotional pain because you love him. Even though you’ll be dead if you commit suicide I bet you don’t want him to commit a form of suicide as well. If he mainly depends on you then you should at least stay alive until he’s grown away from you a bit more (meaning he doesn’t depend on you too much to affect his life deadly). That’s the time to commit suicide.
I myself have made that decision. I won’t commit suicide until my handicapped little brother has grown up enough not to be affected deadly by my death. Even though I’m in the deepest depression ever, and even though I don’t care about how my friends and teachers and parents and family would feel, I’m not going to let fall my little brother for my sake. He must at least get a chance before I leave.
Think about that. The rest won’t be affected as badly as my brother. If that’s the same with you, just wait a few years. When the time’s there you can commit suicide, and if you don’t want anyone to stop you I’d advise you to do it quickly.
Q.E.D.: Stay for your brother, have fun with the one whom you’re in love with, talk to someone who’ll be most likely to understand you (mine lived in Denmark), and don’t go doubt when people say it’ll affect your parents and friends etc.
i feel the same way. the pills have theyre pros and cons. but someday, well have to stop with em.
thanks everyone for your kind words. i’m feeling a bit better but anything could trigger that same old feeling again so i’m just waiting for it.