Drinking is a Drug

About a few months ago my mom and her boyfriend, let’s call him Mike, went out. It’s usually my mom who gets drunk but that night it was only Mike. When he got home he was being loud and cussing. It was surprizing seeing as he is a Christian and quiet. I had only stayed up, waiting for them, to make sure they were okay and if they had brought food.  They didn’t so I decided to go to bed. Since we had been cleaning all that day, my bed was full of crap. I jokingly said I was going to go sleep in their bedroom (which was huge) and went into their room. Now…when I was little I had a bad past with men, and yes, women and lately I’ve been feeling a bit uncomfortable around Mike when he was drunk because he was always trying to hug me and kiss my head.So since my mom was at the other in of the house I locked the door, scared he would try something. He told me to open the door and said no, asking why. He kept saying “Because I said so.” and my mom always taught me that wasn’t a good enough answer so I said no. Then he threatened to break down the door. I didn’t know if he was kidding or not so I froze. Then I realized he would when he began banging on the door…hard. I swear I saw the door open as he punched and kicked at the door. My mom came running and yelled at him to stop.  I unfroze at her voice and unlocked the door, swinging it open. There. behind my mom, wasn’t the man that made bad jokes that made me laugh. There stood a monster, yelling at me to go to my bed and go to sleep. I as stubborn as I am, ran to the front door that was unfortionally locked. When I finally unlocked it and throught I was safe, he slammed it shut. The house shook hard from the door as I ran to the only safe other place with a lock…the bathroom. Once I was safe in the restroom I collaspsed. I didn’t faint, my legs where just shaking to much and gave out. As I lie on the floor, shaking violently and listening to Mike yell through the door that it was my fault he almost broke the door and telling me I could sleep in the bathroom for all he cared, I knew that, at that very moment, I was scarred.  Finally, after what seemed like forever, he stopped and it was silent. I guessed my mom and him decided to go out for a smoke. Then about 20 minutes later my mom came and tried to get me to get out. I refused, scared to death. Finally they gave up and went to bed. I knew I couldn’t sleep in the bathroom so I finally went to my room. My life had always been hard so I’ve always had a runaway bad stashed in my closet. I was to scared to runaway at night so I decided to wait untill 6:30 in the morning for the sun. But, sadly, I fell asleep and woke up to my mom telling me it was time to wake up. She asked for my veiw of last night. I told her and she said it was very stupid what we both did. When I got up Mike said he was sorry over and over again. But that changed nothing. Even now I can’t look him in the eye…it’s too hard. They decided to get married…even though I will never forgive him. I loathe him… With everything I have…