When I wake up in the mornings I feel everything. I go through the day and I feel hatred. I hate who I am and who I want to be. I hate the idea that my life wasn’t my choice, that I am surviving while there are thousands of people dying who deserve to be alive. Every moment of every day I feel too much emotion for my mind to handle. I feel anger toward others and myself. I feel alone, more alone than I’ve ever felt before. But the worst part is that every second I am thinking about the rest of my life and everything that I will have to endure. All the pain and suffering. All the stares from other people, the accusations, the judgment. I know that I will have to look at myself in the mirror for the rest of my life and that–I cannot handle. I want the end. I need the end. I can’t do this.
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1 comment
From what you’ve written, it seems that most of what’s causing you pain is the way you percieve the world. Perhaps if you spend more time around people who live in accordance with what you consider to be the ideal, you’ll see improvement in your mind. Also, try not to expose yourself to any media that presents a negative view of the world.