I want to kill myself, but can’t.

I somewhat understand where your coming from. My grandmother raised me so shes sort of this mother figure and having someone you love be really sick sucks. And everyday I’m scared that her life may be ticking away, and I’m just not ready for it. I start thinking about it and i get so depressed and i feel alone and empty. I realized that its tough to see a loved one so sick and know that they may die. But you need to enjoy your loved ones while there here enjoy life while its still going. Its our thoughts that make us feel so alone and empty cuz we focus on the bad things. I know what its like to care about someone who starts caring about someone else. But it happened for a reason. I believe that you have it in you to be strong you just gotta apply yourself and support yourself. No matter what your never alone you always have yourself. I hope that my words may have helped you in some way and best wishes to you and your mother.