I don’t know what to do. I feel like all I do is disappoint people. From the friend who thought I was ignoring her/neglecting her while I went through nursing school but failed to talk to me about it. To me parents who let me still live at home(at age 24 almost 25) while I look for a job even though I’ve been out of school for almost 6 months and no one hires new nurses with no experience. I see no light at the end of the tunnel all I see is failure. Maybe I should have gone for my BSN instead of me ADN(Associates Degree in Nursing). I’m such a let down. I let down myself. All I want is to not rely on people I need my independence and try as I might I just can’t get to it. I’m not afraid of death, if I died I wouldnt have to pay my school loans, my parents wouldnt have to worry about me finding a job. The only person I would miss would be my best friend of going on 18 years and yes my parents but I would see it as a relief on their part that they wouldn’t have to support a child(now obviously an adult) anymore. I don’t know what to do. No boy wants a booksmart girl who isn’t interested in drinking and having random hook-ups. I just want a person to be a companion to me, to hold me and let me cry, to take me out and just love me. Nope it hasn’t happened, no one kisses the one who wants it the most. I’m always ‘just the friend’. Really all I want is to go back 7 years and start over.
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4 comments
I wouldn’t sweat the living at home with parents thing right now. It’s a bad economy and everyone knows it right now so jobs are way hard to come by if at all. And don’t discount being the booksmart girl either. That in
itself is attractive in a lot of ways. I think if you can stick it out a while longer and let your career eventually fall into place you might have a whole different outlook…maybe not but it’s worth a shot. You’re not a dissapointment if you’re trying to help someone else, anyone else, in even the smallest way. God I hope I take some of my own advice!!
I lost my best friend of 10 years. I know how it feels.
And trust me, the guys that are worth dating aren’t interested in that.
I’ve been really down lately too, but my dad told me something that I won’t ever forget and it’s that you shouldn’t confuse your present with your future – they are completely independent! The sun will rise:) might take a while but always remember you have no idea whats ahead:)
I feel the same, all my life ive been a failure and even tho im only 18 i dont see myself succeeding at anything. Just like you all i ever am is just a freind too. Just like you too one of the only people i would ever miss is my best freind, and shes the only reason why i havent killed myself yet. I wish i could start over too but thats not how it works, i wasted my life. I hope u have some luck in getting a job.
The type of people you seek do exist but they’re not in the majority. You’ve got a delicious brain. Keep using it.