I’ve never done anything horrible to anyone. My entire life I’ve been one of those caring people who can’t stand to see other hurting. I’ve always been there to comfort a stranger who’s in tears or on the verge of self-destructing. But I feel like I’m constantly being punished for something I’ve never done. Everything that I’ve ever had faith in has been ripped from my hands. The people I’ve cared about the most have died- my grandmother, & two of the three people I’ve ever truly trusted. The one boy I fell in love with recently crushed me, & I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle the next few days. I feel like if I don’t die from suicide, I’ll die from a broken heart. He saved my life once; pulled me out of the ocean when I was too weak to fight the waves. He made me feel like everything would eventually be okay. He numbed the pain. He was my guide, my light. He was.. everything. Promised me that one day we’d be free from all the pain of repression & that we’d be together. I can’t live without him, & even though I’m trying to hard to I can already feel myself shutting down. What is the point to living when the one thing you love leaves you broken & Â feeling lied to? Yeah, sure, I could live for music, but it’s a hard industry to get into. Â Anyway, my point is, why does everything I love get torn away from me when I have nothing for karma to throw in my face? I’m not a bad person; I’ve never been a bad person. I’ve made mistakes, we all do, but they’ve been minor. I’ve never broken anyone’s heart; I’ve never lied to someone; I’ve never killed anything. So why? Why am I the one suffering the repercussions of some sin, some crime I’ve never committed? I’m so confused.
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4 comments
u almose exactly described my life….the kind of person the things getting ripped away…falling in love with my best friend, him betraying me, how he used to make me feel…almost everything…i know how you feel. it hurts more than anyone will ever know.
Wow. I am the same way. You know the saying “good things happen to good people?” I use to believe in that. I am always there for my friends, my parents, and even my other half.
But all that went to shit and until today I don’t really know why. Nothing made sense because as far as I know I’ve gone through life always trying to do the right thing for everyone.
I tried to be the best possible friend to everyone, a good child to my parents, I took care of them and loved them, I settled down with the person I loved in hopes in building a good home and a family, but eventually that person left for something or someone better, my friends found other people they’d rather hang out with and my parents saw me as a family after my marriage ended.
WHY? I don’t know. I tried to make things work but it just didn’t.
The thing you have to keep in mind is, bad things happen to everyone, no matter if you do good things, or bad things. It’s just the way it is.
Why? I have been asking that question for ages now, and to tell you truth there is no answer. They just happen.
er typo there. “and my parents saw me as a failure after my marriage ended.”
I’m a big believer in karma, though. So the fact that I’ve never done anything horrible, yet I’m being punished… it just doesn’t make sense. I don’t understand why good things happen to people with the purest intentions; the purest hearts. I just don’t understand.