planning suicide for the near future

Hi guys. I am going to sum up my story in a few short sentences.

I tried to commit suicide at 16 following a breakup with a girlfriend, but at the time it was a completely impulsive act. I didn’t write a letter or anything. I just tried to hang myself, stood hanging there for about  2 minutes and then the belt I used slipped and  I woke up unconscious and with a huge headache.

Thankfully, I had no damages and best of all, no one knew about it. To this day, no one knows. I am absolutely terrified of being committed to a clinic or something.

Flash foward 10 years. I am 26 (almost 27) now, and I’ve been dealing with heavy and constant depression since I was 20.

I am a struggling filmmaker and I have been unable to find work or to get any sort of break in the business for about two years (I don’t live in the US, so it’s not Hollywood I’m trying to get into)

I have studied a lot, I am very well prepared for the job, the problem is that I don’t have the right connections to put me anywhere. So I’ve been living with my parents and with zero income for about two years since my last job (which paid like crap).

At the same time I have tried to produce some independent films on my own and to be perfectly humble I do think I have talent and potential, so I’m not ready to give up yet, since many directors struggled for years before getting their break.

However, I’m not prepared to deal with being a failure if things don’t work out.

So the idea is, I want to have a complete suicide planned for when I decide to go. It gives me comfort that if all goes wrong I have a quick and painless way out of humiliation and failure, since there is nothing else I want to do in life.

I don’t have many friends; I don’t have kids; I am not in a relationship anymore, so I don’t have much to look forward to besides my career.

My plan is to hang on for a little longer, possibly until I am 32 or 33, and if by then my career  doesn’t take off in any meaningful way or does not show any real promise of doing so, I will take my own life.

I am interested in the helium process because I don’t want my parents finding me to be a more tragic vision than it  has to be, and I don’t want to attempt any method that involves illegal substances or that may put others at risk (such as carbon monoxide or gas oven thing)

I’ve read pretty much everything there is about it online, both from sites and reports from people who attempted it, and one thing that seems to pop up is that some people remove the bag from their heads.

So I ask, what is the truly most foolproof method of going about the helium way?

I inhaled helium once with friends for fun when I was a teenager, and I remember getting “high” on it for about 5 or 10 seconds every time I inhaled. Is this what makes you unconscious?

I’ve read that you have to take a huge breath so that you don’t get the panic from carbon dioxide (or something) poisoning, but doesn’t the fact that your body is running out of oxygen put you in a panic anyway?

I also thought of maybe doing it in a small, sealed bathroom so that if by any chance the bag slips the helium will still fill the room.

I also think of maybe doing it in a hotel so that they don’t have to find my body. I don’t know how authorities manage corpses and everything, but I would honestly like to be taken from the site, cremated and that’s it. I’m not religious so I don’t need (or want) any kind of funeral.