Sometimes I get tired of being the sparkly one. Sometimes I get tired of being the person that everyone looks at. Sometimes I want to disappear into the grass, let myself fall asleep forever in the warm sun. Sometimes I don’t want to be the one that looks at the world differently. The one that paints her nails pink and green because the colors remind her of mint chocolate chip ice cream and watermelon which reminds her of the summer. Sometimes I don’t want people to notice my outfits and say they’re really cool, or compliment my hair because I can pull off something weird. Sometimes I don’t want to be the person that’s invisible in the spotlight. The one that everyone wants to talk to, but somehow pass by because all they see her as is a pretty cardboard cutout.
I wish I didn’t have to shove myself into conversations to be heard. I wish my friend didn’t hate me because he can’t understand me sometimes. I wish it all was easier, that I didn’t have to struggle to find that little bit of happiness everyone is supposedly entitled to. I wish that people knew that just because I seem to be perfect doesn’t mean that I actually am. That I’m a person beneath all the gloss, and when they hate me, I feel it. When they neglect me, I don’t bounce back like a rubber ball. That when they dump their issues on me, I soak them up like a sponge. But I guess when you make yourself into a robot, that’s all you can be expected to be treated as.
1 comment
It’s ok. Text me. U shuld b able now, il help