I been thinking…. Everything that has gone through this week. Thinking… what has gone through my head. My surroundings… poor as usual. I been thinking… maybe i should just leave this website. Maybe just go far away from it. Delete from my history. From my mind. From my everything. I just… i really dont know anymore. All i could do is write. Write and never hear a word from it. Sometime soon… i dont know when… im just going to crack. Breakdown. and tear everything around me. Cut till my bone shows. Stop eating till my skin sticks to my bones. Maybe dying a slow death by self- starvation. I know i wont go to heaven, but i know i have finally died.I been thinking… all the things that had happen lately. All the ideas and talks that i was invovle in. Like i said…i been thinking of leaving this site and just come back to write my finally words… I mind as well either drown or jump infront of a moving car. But i been thinking… when will i say my final goodbyes.
6 comments
I know what you mean. Perhaps leaving this site is better for me too. With a snap of the fingers I will be forgotten anyway. I can feel suicide is closer than ever. I destroyed the things that mattered to me the most, and I feel lighter, weightless. Nothing to hold me back from slicing my major arteries.
Also, hello SuicideKillMe. Do you feel like you can do it? Kill yourself I mean? Or can you continue to live suffering? There might be people here to help you, maybe even relieve a bit of your pain, or rather disappoint you. Meh.
Watch out for the people who say hurtful things. Then again no one can avoid them.
I feel the same I can’t tell anyone about my thoughts without shame I came here because I thought it could be a simple cure I’m a nobody I mean nothing to everyone and I commit BAM!I’m gone no one even knows who I am was or was gonna be I don’t know how long I can hold on
But try to avoid things that bring up the thoughts it’s hard I don’t want you to die i don’t want me to die suicides all over me it hurts and I know it hurts you to message me anytime
This world is nothing but full of evil. and jea i am able to do it. Just one suicide note and a river and im gone instintly. I know everyone cares or loves me but i really want to go. Its mine chosed my life and everything around me can be happy once im gone.
I see. Good luck.
Please, no body do this. It is unimaginable pain.
I did it three times in a row without even a day a part to recover mentally or physically. The first time I got very spacey and would black out. The second time was the same but with horrible, horrible stomach cramps. The third time I was vomiting, blacking out, and screaming.
It’s not as easy as you may read or watch. It’s terrible, pure horror.
There is more to live for though. It sucks feeling lonely and depressed with no body at all to listen to you. Except sometimes you should learn that you don’t need the reassurance or help from others who hurt you. You really can recover on your own if you believe in yourself and the happiness you want to achieve.
After so long the things people have said and done to you just turns into a tiny, pain in your heart. It shows that you may have forgiven but you’ll never forget.
Please…enjoy life while you can…if you ever need somebody to talk to you can skype me if you want my user…
<3
SKM, Ive had a brutal week also. just when you think you can’t possibly rake more crap, here comes another truckload… I don’t have any advice… I can’t even reassure you or say ‘everything will be ok’ because the truth is I don’t believe it.
But fwiw… I think starvation is a good way to attempt suicide. Since it’s so slow, you’ll have a while to be sure of yourself, not like a shotgun or a noose that’s instantaneous. And you can go a few weeks without permanent damage in case you decide to turn back. I guess what I’m saying is give it a lot of thought…suicide is final..