A couple days ago I found out my mum has cancer. It’s not serious and she’s going to have surgery soon, and then 6 weeks of recovery (either chemo, radiation, or both). I was going to kill myself tomorrow or the day after, but I feel that I need to stay a little longer to help mum get through this. I was feeling… almost at peace that I didn’t have much time left, but now, I’m struggling. I don’t want to go through another 2+ months of this. I’ve made up my mind about doing it and nothing is going to change it. It’s just a matter of time, but I cannot leave my mum when she’s so vulnerable. I really need some help here and I just don’t know what to do. Life is too difficult and I don’t know if I can go on long enough for mum to recover.
7 comments
I am glad to hear the cancer with your mom is treatable. I know it sucks because it now interrupts the plan you had to kill yourself. But when you make plans life would throw in something to change it. Personally it’s happened to me way too many times to be coincidence.
Tell you what….hang in there for your mom sake. If things get bad come on here and rant about it as much as you want. If you want someone to personally talk to, I can give you my e-mail address, and we can find a way to chat.
Life is difficult I am not denying that because it’s the same for me, I could have done away with myself yesterday too, but I have people in my life that need me to take care of them just like your mom needs you at this time.
So try to hang in there for as long as she needs to recover, then take it from there.
Your death will make it difficult for her whether you wait or not. I don’t see why timing makes a difference.
Hey darkloner i think i remember you? Your the aussie chick right? I havent seen you on here in ages….. Sorry to hear that your not doin any better and sorry bout your mum 🙁
deadotter – thanks for your support :), I think I’ll take your advice and stay for mum. I don’t post very often, but I come on here every day and read. I’ve been doing that for about a year or so now lol.
crying on the inside – yeah that’s me. thanks :). i hope you’re doing ok, i don’t see that many posts from you either.
I am happy to hear it 🙂 I don’t post often either unless I really can put all my thoughts and emotions into words. I hope your mom’s surgery goes well and she recovers from it. update us from time to time on how she and you are doing ok?
@Darkloner yeah i thought that was you. I was wondering what happened to you. Nah im not really doin ok and im still planning how im gonna exit. I still come on here i just dont post or comment much anymore.
it depends on if you’re close with you mom.
my mom has cancer. for a while now. and she’s gonna get really sick…its gonna be bad. shes gonna need you to take care of her. at least give her that honor.