Ok. Everyday My brain travels towards death. Idk what is about me. Maybe I’m not getting enough sex? I just write poems, songs, I sing, I play my guitar and harmonica. Yet I usually end up still feeling like shit. Sometimes I think heavy substance and numbness is my only way out of hell. This world is hell. I wake up hopeful of success but in the back of mind and in my home, I’m a failure. Feeling to is very familiar. I wish for suicide but I’m a lover not a killer. Life is just so bittersweet! I love life and it’s beauty and our freedom, but it’s also a struggle just to have the want to live. I think too much though, thats why I’m a alcohalic and drug addict.