I’m so freakin stupid.

I don’t even know what he thinks about me anymore. I love him so much, but all I do is complain to him. every time I see he becomes friends with some really hot chick on fb, I get so jealous and heart broken, even though he said he still loves me, but I don’t think he truly does. not the way I love him. I don’t even know if they’re just his friends, but its crossed my mind that he likes one of them, they’re really hot girls. honestly he’s really handsome and strong, and there’s so many girls that like him. Im so far away from him right now, and have no friends here. all my friends on fb are always saying how they’re “so sad” or “heartbroken” because their phone broke, or they can’t see their friends on the weekend. I don’t have a phone. I live in a foreign country. I haven’t seen any of my friends for almost a freaking year! the only thing I can really focus on anymore is how stupid and depressed I am, and drawing various black, broken hearts with different types of scars and lacerations, etc. I hate myself. I freaking hate myself. I wanna hold on, I really do. I want a good boyfriend that won’t get mad at me for my depression. I want him to hold me and tell me I’ll be safe in his arms forever, and fix my broken heart. but this is just something I will never have. crap that’s a lot to read. sorry for wasting your time again:P