More Silly Secrets I Could Never Say To Your Face

I feel like guys aren’t asking me out because they all think I’m a lesbian.
Every secret I write, I can picture on a postcard that I could send into Post Secret.
I lie about almost everything, it’s always details.
You’ve yelled at me so much that I can hear you yelling my name in my head.
When I was little, I always used to take great care of my toys because of toy story, I still do.
My dad is my friend more than he is my dad.
My mom is still trying to make up for the fact that she neglected me when I was younger.
When ever I read stories of suicide, cutting, anorexia, I always feel that those people took shortcuts and where not strong, sorry guys :/.
I lose interest in things so easily, I feel like I’ll never stick with one thing.
I spend so much time focusing on the little things that I miss the bigger picture.
I’ve already done so much in life, I wish I could appreciate what I’ve done.
I know I won’t work harder next year.
My depression has been ongoing since the second grade, I just never had a name for it.
I feel like there are two sides to me, but theyre too mixed up to separate.
I act like I’m painting the fence for the money, the truth is just don’t have anything better to do.
I used to be more muscular and hairier than the guys, they used to make fun of me but I used tell them they better start working out, it still hurts knowing that’s what they laugh at me for, because they aren’t man enough.
Sometimes I’ll cry for no reason and others I couldnt cry even if my family died.
I want to stop being me and start being someone else, I want to be more girly.
If I move out I’ll probably never talk to my parents or family again.
Im the only cousin in my entire family who doesn’t have blonde hair or blue eyes, it’s because of my mom.
I want so many things that I’m confused about what I actually want.
I could never get to know the people on this site because I’d be too sad when they died.
Sometimes I really do question if this is the real life or just fantasy.
Thanks for reading,
Expect more in the future,
Friend Of A Friend