Not feeling like myself..

I can relate. I was in a similar relationship. I deal with anxiety and depression, and heartbreak is a lot of my pain, as it has been over two years since I made the biggest mistake of my life by leaving the love of my life and I still haven’t let go–of him or of my mistake. So I know you feel rejected and abandoned..

There are lots of things you can try. Anything from ‘normal’ activities like joining a group (book club, track, chess, whatever you can think of), taking a walk, reading a book, writing down your thoughts, learning to play a musical instrument, building model airplanes, researching pirate ships, whatever you strike an interest in, or even something you don’t but think if you knew more about it you might like it, is good to try.

You can also start a journal, and draw a line down the centre of the page. On one side write down your negative thoughts, like the last two sentences of your post (your life and not wanting to be here), and then on the other side of the line write down something positive to counteract it. For instance, what IS good in your life? What makes you want to stay here?

As far as the girl…I know you care about her and you want more than anything for her to be happy, but we can’t save other people from themselves. We can only love and support them to the best of our abilities. Don’t take her issues personally. If she takes them out on you, she is not treating you the way you need to be treated. It is easy when we are in that painful place to grab hold of anything or anybody that could keep us afloat, but ultimately we have to teach ourselves to swim, because we will just drag that person down with us if we don’t. Does that make sense?
I did this, I took my pain out on aforementioned ex, and it destroyed our relationship. Given because of him I am still alive, but he showed me that I had strength within myself. He gave me incentive to find that thing that he apparently loved, so I could try to love myself, and I learned to at least try to go towards healing.

So to summarise: We can’t save other people from themselves, but we can try to show them that they are beautiful, treasured people who deserve to live.

You deserve to live a happy life, and so does this girl. Keep trying, alright? Feel free to talk to me. Take care and be safe ♥♥