What is the point … really? I am tired of living. I can’t see my life changing. I have tried for years and years to find the right balance for me, tried to fit in, find my own way and mostly all the people I come in contact with are fooled. To the world I am strong and capable, they all come to me, everyone wants something. I raised fine children, helping raise a fine grandchild, but for what? There’s no time for me, nothing but work and bills, not even enough money to buy a new pair of shoes or a shirt. Do I get to work like this till I die?
It’s been a hard, hard life but, I have made it through. I made it through abuse, drug addiction, homelessness, jail and more. Just about everything the world has thrown at me, I have triumphed over. I am tired now. I am done. I want to rest. At 57 I thought I might have come to a point where each day didn’t have to be a fight. I was wrong and I am tired unto death. I am so alone.
3 comments
You sound so strong to me! You’ve made it through all that, and I can fully respect you being tired of it all, sometimes people are strong for too long, and being strong is hard.
well i think if you made it this far, why give up now? why not keep fighting? i mean, yes being strong is tiring, but its worth it, don’t you feel proud of yourself that you made it thru that? what about your grandchild? what are they going to think when they get older? that just giving up cuz ur tired of being strong is ok? I don’t mean to sound so… angry. im not. in fact im broken for you. im also praying for you. look to God, he loves you!
Yes, you are strong. But you also focus a lot on what the world wants from you. But life is about what you want from the world. After all, the world isn’t gonna be there when you do the whole heaven-or-hell thing, or whatever it is that you believe it. The world isn’t the one who sticks up for you in the end.
You are what matters. You are the one you should focus on. Not how you fit in, but rather, how you feel about YOU. Other people’s opinions, even though so many of us live our lives by them, don’t matter at all.
We are never unhappy all the time. That’s impossible. And as such, we are happy sometimes too, then. That being said, you will feel relief, and believe me, I am tired every day, but we find strength to lift us up within ourselves, within the happy memories because you want to make new happy memories, right? They will come again. They will be here. You just have to wait and see 🙂 Take care