Oh, hello, 3am.
Since my last post, I’ve started cutting daily–there are scars all over my body, everywhere but my arms. I still burn–and I still prefer burning–but I had forgotten how much more convenient cutting is…and how much more beautiful the scars are.
I move in for college in two weeks–I dunno if that’s good or bad. New beginning means that I might find normal friends, and maybe even be a normal person. Ha. Not likely. But I can get a counselor/therapist once I’m away from home, since my parents don’t realize how far gone I am. Let’s see if I actually do it once I’m there, though…
But I feel my lungs contracting at the THOUGHT of meeting new people and dealing with social situations–potentially being dragged to a party–will my dorm room just be another jail cell? I don’t know. But it’s easier than having to deal with the urge to hurt myself when I am with people…
2 comments
Yo Howdy… Can you tell me the hole point of cutting? I have done cutting small cuts only but felt nothing(Dont want scars)…Im a MALE is this why cutting do not affect me? Hell if you whant pain try punching a wooden brick till yore fists starts bleeding… (Me morning training)…
be thankful, jail is sooooooo much worse. unless getting raped and belittled and trapped every second of every day appeals to you. and let me tell you, that is an understatement. remember, it can always be worse