ScreaminFetus

A lifetime of Fear and loathing… Self Rejection, Low Self Esteem, not knowing how to deal with hurt emotions nobody could understand cause everyone else was as heartless and shallow as I was… I am coming to a fork in the road of my life… i post on here to experience my emotions… something I was not taught by my dad… one thing my dad wasnt was a emotionally mature Man… my dad would beat me with jump ropes, fists, bang my head against the wall… verbally, mentally and physically abused… then tell me to stop crying or he would give me something to cry about… most boys are taught that crying is a sign of weakness… i guess it would be if you were at war cause in war you want to hold on to the anger and rage manifested from the hurt and fear you felt… but being able to grow emotionally was my biggest and hardest step to take towards better thinking… life hurts at times but if we learn to grow emotionally by these experiences and deal with these emotions appropriately we can grow into healthy emotionally mature adults… i post suicidal posts not necessarily meaning I am going to kill myself… but i feel like i want to die… it helps me to not take that suicidal step… thanks for listening and your comments