I’m not yet twenty. Twenty hits me in less than 20 days.
I’m terrified. I know I’m not living to be thirty. I don’t want to live to be twenty for god’s sake.
It’s not that life isn’t good, I’m just so tired. I’ve been tired for half of my life. It’s a feeling I can’t get away from. No matter how I try.
I knew love once. I ran as fast as I could. He likes to get high and text me about what a whore I am or how much he still loves me. Starting pregnancy rumors about me.
I don’t think I can do this much longer.
I want to sleep forever. Is that so wrong?
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Oh, my love, I wish I could hug you right now. Please email me at lettersforlove@mail.com and remember how warm the sun is when you let it shine on your face.
No it isnt wrong at all to feel that way. Hell i did!!! Wtf kind of life is it to be hurt by people you care about?! like it never made sense. Life is hard its gonna be hard but its all in the way you let things affect you. Ive been working on that for months now. Not everything has to hurt me so bad and i dont have to spend my time waiting for the moment when it all falls apart. All of that gets so tiring. But none of that should matter its just you and what you wanna do to make yourself happy fuck the other bullshit.
I understand. I’m turning 19 this Friday. I’m not looking forward to it at all. It’s the same as every other year. I’ve always expected the last birthday to be the very last. -If- for some reason you want to disappear before your birthday, at the very least make it enjoyable… see if you can take out a loan, or sell all of your belongings and spend your birthday and that money in a hedonistic way.
Actually my ideas right now might not seem very sane :(..
No those are good ideas mimi aha. I never thought of that.