Why bother?

  August 23rd, 2011 by cantstandit

I know I’ve not been normal my whole life.
It’s horrible feeling so empty.
I don’t know why I feel this way but I really dislike myself. I end up in a negative cycle, not caring about myself and therefore hurting others through my actions and behaviour.
I’m selfish.
I can’t remember the last time I felt happy, nothing seems to make me happy.
I just don’t have the energy any more there seems to be no point.
I recently hurt 2 men after being in (unhealthy) relationships. I hurt the ones that love me the most including my family.
My family talk about me behind my back and say I have issues but they never talk to me about it.
It hurts.
I can’t talk to them. I don’t want to even help myself I just want to disappear and I wish I’d never been born. I want to get away from myself and this stupid thing called life that everyone else can actually seem to enjoy and get along well with.
It’s gone too far now and I don’t think I can ever salvage anything from the mess I have left which is my so called life.
I’m disintegrating from the inside out and I can’t take it any more.
Nothing seems worth it.

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