I know I’ve not been normal my whole life.
It’s horrible feeling so empty.
I don’t know why I feel this way but I really dislike myself. I end up in a negative cycle, not caring about myself and therefore hurting others through my actions and behaviour.
I’m selfish.
I can’t remember the last time I felt happy, nothing seems to make me happy.
I just don’t have the energy any more there seems to be no point.
I recently hurt 2 men after being in (unhealthy) relationships. I hurt the ones that love me the most including my family.
My family talk about me behind my back and say I have issues but they never talk to me about it.
It hurts.
I can’t talk to them. I don’t want to even help myself I just want to disappear and I wish I’d never been born. I want to get away from myself and this stupid thing called life that everyone else can actually seem to enjoy and get along well with.
It’s gone too far now and I don’t think I can ever salvage anything from the mess I have left which is my so called life.
I’m disintegrating from the inside out and I can’t take it any more.
Nothing seems worth it.
1 comment
I’m so sorry. That is horrible that she died at such a young age. I’m sorry about your mother and your sister also.You are not alone. When I read the last half of this, It was like I was talking to myself. I am selfish, Most of the time I’m thinking of myself.I can’t talk to my family either. They all think it’s for attention. But seek help somewhere else. It really shouldn’t matter what they think because you know what’s true and what isn’t.They talk about me too. But hold your head up high, Things will get better. You should confront them and tell them that you know what they’re saying and explain how you feel. Make sure you are very nice when you say it, If it’s mean they may get very upset.You always have me to speak to. Email me at GiaBrownrocks@gmail.com, I always answer. You will be fine, And if you feel you’re not, Feel free to contact me because I’ll always be here for you.