For more information just……ask i guess.
I feel like dying, but feel i dont have the right to be sad at all. like i shouldnt be sad and should just get the fuck over it. idk if this is just depression or withdrawal or what, but im tired of hearing that i just need more meds. i always feel like im begging for attention because i will kinda straight out say yet hint that i want to die, but i just want to die and fade out, but want someone to care and help me. i may be expecting to much, because what id do is something like never let them leave my side and make sure they are okay every step and listen, but it feels like no one believes me or cares. it may be because of how ive treated it but people just seem to brush it off. I just………. i want to go far enough down that people will care and show they miss me.
i dont let people in, probably for fear they will leave and or i wont be good enough, but im at the point where idk anymore. i feel like i may just bust down. i may have left things out but i just…….. i want it all to stop. i want a break, and i want to be able to see people care and have it seem there is someone there for me. people just cant understand me though my barriers, i say dont worry, but i want you to help me. i say no but i want you to come get me. i say its fine, but i want you to stay and tell me to stop bullshitting till i spill
3 comments
I certainly care (and I bet plenty of people here do as well) and I’m here for you if you need anything, or just want to talk about something related or not.
I’m torn in this direction I’m sad and I say I’m sad people ask why and i can’t tell then cause i’m sad for no reason, no not a good enough problem for the world. they say if you feel like your going to harm yourself tell some one . and i have I’ve told multiply people multiple times that I’m going to die and no one has yet to help me. It’s getting worse
it seems impossible to kick the depression when I’m sad. I push people always cause i figure it will be one less person i hurt when i pass. I haven’t done it cause i don’t want the few people i love to be sad as I am now. It no that anything bad going on, Im just a sad person and rather rest peacefully them live.
I hear you and i feel your sadness in the way you type, your waiting for this to be done.
the more find people who care about you, the more you will want to live, and the longer and harder it will be for you to pass. which is kind a good thing if that what you want
its always strange coming here. i come, read things and wonder if ive been writing in my sleep. it seems we all think similarly. i dont want people inside, ive been hurt to much and dont want them to hurt when im gone. but i want those people who will do what they can, even if it means forcing me to stay by them so they can make sure im ok, even when i appear happy. last night i almost died from caffine overdose. that with stress, dehydration and a possible allergy attack made me either cry, cough or throw up for a few hours. i started throwing up blood, and went to the hospital where the took care of me. im doing better, and they think i just tore my esophagus which is where the blood is from. but im glad i told the people i did. they helped me a lot.