I close my eyes just to see your face, remembering the sound of your laugh/Such a beautiful life, brought to such a terrible end/There’s no use trying to pretend, I know now what has to be done/Can you ever forgive me? I try to speak to you in my dreams/But you can’t hear my voice, above your scream/I can’t escape these feelings of remorse,/I can’t heed their advice, to stay the course/My sense of direction always pointing to self rejection/It all gets better with time, oh it’s such a lie/I can’t hide the pain streaming out of my eyes/I try to take a step in the right direction, only to trip, on my guilty conscience/My soul wilting, like the flowers at your grave/I’d ask to be rescued, if there was something left to save/Now I’m waiting for you, to make me whole, to help me forget how I’ve lost control, of my life/How am I supposed to be happy? How am I supposed to move on?/I can’t forgive myself for what I’ve done wrong/Can you save me? Can you hear me?/My cries for help silenced by my need for self-loathing/No satisfaction from this so called life, my heart’s exploding/Can you save me? Can you hear me?/My screams echoing into the night, I can’t forget, how I stole your life
4 comments
I have someone very special in my life, that I have known and loved for years. He is very sad because he feels like he has no one. I try to relate, after all, many times I have been without someone to love me. But I since I know I will get through the pain, I am at a loss for words. I am afraid for him. He is sinking deeper and deeper. Can anyone tell me words that others have said to you that kept you going? I don’t want to lose him. Please help. I love him very much. Man, that sounds so selfish. He is worthy of everything in world, he just can’t see that right now.
Eloquently written. Hello Silver, long time no see. Hopefully you’ve been pushing through despite the crazy sh*t life brings. I’ve been keeping my head above the water, deliberately lost contact with people who were once important to me. Change of scenery is what I need. Thankfully I’ll be moving down south sometime next year. Seems like a long way off. By then suicide might conquer me or not. Anyways, glad to see you’re still alive and kicking/writing.
@ tears – maybe try telling him what you feel, let him know that he does have someone, somebody that truly cares
@ umbra – thanks, yea it has been a while, just haven’t had much willingness to write lately, but yes i am still pushing through. i’ve deliberately lost contact with pretty much all of my friends. i don’t know if they wonder where i’ve been or not, but oh well. i’ll continue to tread water as well, as i don’t want to hurt my family, but i wonder how long i can just exist to keep others from feeling the pain of losing me. such a strange thing life is, eh? i occasionally feel as though life is worth living, but once again those moments are outweighed by my negative outlook, guilt, and self-loathing. change of scenery sounds like a good idea, i wish i had the opportunity but there are things in my life that prevent that right now. the scenery is nice down this way though, i think you’ll enjoy it.
Your welcome… sir or madam. On rare occasions I catch myself wondering if my past companions in life remember me or if they have completely pushed me out of their hearts/minds. I understand they’ve got lives to lead, their own difficulties to overcome. Surely, the last thing they need is useless company. Despite it all, they have my silent support. I think one of them is dead now. Poor lady. I miss her kindness.
I predict age 40 is my limit. My family isn’t much concern to me as to whether I’ll cause them pain when the time comes I must pass on. Pain is a part of life, it cannot be avoided. One way or another it must/will be confronted. Humans are capable, though. You’re capable of persevering. The basic survival instinct is in all of us. It keeps us going. Of course, sometimes it can serve as an unnecessary hindrance. Good luck to you, Silver.