No one is listening

  September 15th, 2011 by zerosum

I’ve come to the conclusion that everything I say falls on deaf ears. I’ve pretty much said ‘I’m going to kill myself’ to a few people, and I get dismissive laughs or accusations of selfishness. Why am I selfish? It’s my life, and I hate it. It’s not your life. You’ll be sad when I’m gone? You’ll feel guilty? So I’m supposed to exist in a state of agony so that you’ll have a clear conscience and not feel sad? Who is being selfish again? You don’t feel what I feel. You don’t suffer from severe depression or chronic physical pain. You don’t know what it’s like to hate yourself and your life so much that you’d willfully terminate your existence. You have no fucking clue. Don’t judge me. Don’t you dare call me ‘selfish’. And I don’t give a fuck what happens to you when I’m gone. Go ahead and feel guilty. You’re the one who laughed when I told you I’d like to eat a bullet. Fuck you.

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