My life has come to a halt and I cannot think of any way I can keep going. I have lost everything in my life; my alcoholic father, my borderline-personality disordered mother, my selfish brother..I still love them all but I have lost them and can’t communicate with them at all. I’ve been seeing a doctor for months now who I have become completely reliant on who doesn’t help anymore. I can’t get in to see any psychologists because I can’t get a job to pay for any. I’ve tried everything and I can’t take it anymore. I don’t enjoy anything anymore and even if I did, I’d just feel guilty about it because I don’t deserve to enjoy anything, and I’d stop enjoying it. I can’t live anymore. Every suicide attempt is just embarrassing and it just proves to me even more that no one cares. I need someone to talk to, a friend or anyone, but I don’t deserve that either. I want to die but I don’t want to fail my attempt again and end up in hospital for weeks which ONLY makes it worse. You know what else sucks? I see how beautiful the world is. It’s gorgeous. But I don’t belong here. I don’t deserve to get better.
Sorry this is so long. I don’t know what the hell to do and I feel like soon enough I’m going to end up rotting away in this bed that I can barely even get out of anymore…please someone tell me what to do..I can’t think anymore.
5 comments
I too feel like I do not belong here… Why do you feel guilty about thing’s?
Because I don’t deserve anything. I feel completely worthless all the time..I hope you find happiness in your life.
Gods just waiting to please you. So you can accept that and carry on with life. Sure its a pretty small sentence but believe me workswonders.
The world would be a pretty ugly place without you around man
or girl (my bad)