So recently I have reached a dead end. I should inform of all of my struggles from the beginning so that this may seem a little easier to follow. I was diagnosed with depression, bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder about 8 months ago. I was on anti-depressants that actually seemed to help. About 4 months ago I stopped taking them. About a year ago I accumulated some credit card and medical bills that have put my current debt total to about $8K. I have my own apartment. I work full time. I have a dog of which I love with all of my heart. I have little to no friends. I have moved from TN to FL to follow my dad and now step mom. I hate my job. I want to go back to college but have a learning disability. The daily struggle is that my apartment lease is up in 15 days and I have nowhere to go. I cant afford the deposits on another apartment. I already feel so alone living down here I just dont want to go on like this. My parents said they would help me if I got rid of my dog. I cant do that, hes the only thing I have left. But if I dont move in with them Ill never go to school again because of my debts.. I dont know what to do or where to turn. I feel like I just dont have an option anymore. I dont want to live this way. I feel so alone and isolated. Not having any friends is really hard. Giving up my dog so that I can save money doesnt seem like a possibility. If I dont, where would I live? The bills just keep coming in and piling up. I wish I had someone to tell me what to do and what would happen but I dont. Noone does. How do you know if its even worth the struggle? My life is so complicated.. This fate has been eating me alive and soon the future will be here and the choice will be made FOR me..
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5 comments
Why did u stop takeing your meds. don’t they help you make decisions? It sounds like your do have someone. U have your dad and (step) mom.how would u take of your dog if you had no home? try to find a good home for your dog, take your meds and go stay with your dad. You made it out there on your own before. U can do it again.
They made me gain about 30 pounds. Id rather be at an ideal weight and sad rather than fat and really sad. =/ Letting go of my dog seems impossible. I love him to pieces and he is such a good dog. Decisions, decisions.
I know. life is full of decisions.making them can suck, but sometimes it is good. If you could find a good home for your dog, maybe you could go visit and take it for walks or runs. Then you can work on loosing the extra pounds and stay on the meds. Like i said, sometimes it sucks. But I believe it will be alright. I hope so.
Funny thing, I made a similar statement about being on meds of ‘would I rather be fat and jolly or skinny and miserable’? Sometimes, you need the meds to cope. Coming off of the meds takes you down an even darker path due to withdrawal. It took a good 8 months when I came off my meds to start feeling what I consider ‘normal’ again. Weight gain sure can bring you down. Exercise and yoga has really helped with the moods for me.
I can’t tell you what would be the best decision to make. I can recommend based on the comments you’ve made. The debt is not too bad. In my reckless phases I racked up 87,000. Go see a credit councilor, they can assist you with the best route to take. A lot people are afraid to do this. I went and it caused a turning point in my life, for the better!
If you want to go back to school, unfortunately, it means sacrificing how you live today. If it is the deciding factor to live a happier life then it’s worth it. Have you talked to your parents about how you’re feeling and how important your dog is to you for you to heal? Maybe the’ll reconsider?
Hi,I’m new to this site, and I’ve been searching for anyone who posted anything about borderline personality disorder. About a year ago I found out that I had it. I know exactly how you feel regarding your money situation. I can’t afford to go see a therapist and even if I did I don’t have the resources to get the medication.It’s a tough situation you are in, and the only thing I can suggest is to try and face things head on without the meds.I’ve never taken any meds, haven’t seen a therapist, and the only thing I do is use the internet and research on it and hopefully find my own solution.