I can do it easily, right now.

September 2nd, 2011by ThatPsychoBitch

So. No one is home and my fiance is out, going for an interview that’s probably never gonna get the job for… and if he does he’ll buy an apartment and leave me. He says he won’t but that’s hard to believe.

So I text him and tell him I’m having a very bad anxiety/panic attack, to add to that the curtain in our room randomly fell off the wall and scared the fuck out of me.

I was extremely depressed last night and poured my heart out and I still haven’t slept well in 16 hours.

He told me a while ago that his father made his mother feel so insecure, and was so insensitive, she killed her self when he was 5.  I’m getting pretty close to that with him, though he says he hates who his father was, and we’re not even married yet. (Very lightly using “yet”)

So he calls, and asks if I put something over his stupid fucking HD 3LCD 55in TV (Some people would thing he’s compensating for something else…. No. Not like he uses it more than once every 2 weeks anyway… Not the TV I’m talking about.)

He was afraid of the sun hitting the TV. No, no, not me having a major panic attack while I’m all alone in the god damned house for the next possible 2 hours… But the god damned TV that is the only FUCKING thing he ever talks about anymore. I could be bawling my eyes out in a corner and he’ll just dust it off or talk about his stupid VGA box or HDMI cords…  And then he complains about me being on the computer all the fucking time.


Basically. I could kill myself right now, no one could stop me… But I can’t bring up the courage to do it.

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