September 13th, 2011 by jumper731

My final days are fast approaching. I finally am looking forward to something. I made the mistake of saying something to my mom and what do I get back? She tells me I’m a spoiled, selfish brat that wants to hurt everyone I possibly can just because I can’t get what I want. But it’s ok, because I don’t care anymore. I told her that too…. That I don’t care about anything or anyone and it’s not selfish, but I don’t expect her to understand. She says, just tell yourself you are happy and you will be. Riiiiiight. That’ll make nearly 18 years of hating myself and being depressed, cutting, wishing on a daily basis I was dead because I’m already dead on the inside, go away.


I hate to even think it, but I’m a little scared. Maybe it’s more nervous. But every time I have backed out, I’ve regretted it. I have to do it this time. I can’t keep going like this.

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