I made a note to be read when im gone about a month ago. Even though im still here I have it safe in my wallet. I wonder every time I read it if I should add some more? Its not the first note I’ve written. It probably wont be the last. Im wondering when I am gone if every one I write will be found. All my life Ive been judged. When people are talking about me, for some reason my ears just cant ignor. The things I hear make me write more. More is suppose to be a good thing right? Is the note just a way of getting attention?
I found this site today looking for storys of suicide and have come to relize that may be just may be I will get to do what Ive been trying to do for years.
I know this is personal but I dont feel like anyone is reading this any way. Almost everyday I think of those days when I was three and that man telling me its just a game. A secret game. What does a three year old know? As every day I think of those day the more I want to write in my notes. I tried dear god letters but of course he hates me and ignores me. I get no sign. I get no answer. All hes given me is dead loved ones. Yes there not family but still they were with me.
4 comments
i read it :L
i read it too; you’re not alone. Your people, your tribe is out there.
Thanks
The chances of their being a God is slim to none… Do not dwell or rely on him.
The note is not a way to get attention, it is a way to cope with things.
I write, cut, bang my head into the wall, think of suicide, ect to cope. You have the better way… Much better way.
I came to this site also looking for people like… well like us. Morid curiosity? Or just a need to feel like I am not alone… I am not sure.