September 12th, 2011by 3_bringitback

Back, and relapsed, and disgusted with the sudden boom of attention seekers on this website. It sucks. Zomg meh bf dumped meh, meh live is ova guyzzz. c u on the ova side lulzzzzz.

Anyway, I came here to vent, and vent I must. I’m tired. Insomnia’s back, fuck yes. I love my insomnia. It’s like, so great. Atleast I have crappy Pokemon-epic-fail-White to keep me occupied with it’s trashy trashiness. Heh. The day’s not so good either. I either go out and have to run around for five hours looking for a friend who’s millimeters away from topping herself, and find her drunk and in hysterics. (Last night) Or stay inside and suck the cock of depression as it ejaculates its sticky toxic liquid into my lungs.

Meh, everyone’s depressed. And, of course, I wanna fix ’em. Which I can’t. I hate waking up. Well, waking up early, that sucks. If I got more than 4 hours I’d be neutral-ish.

Prelims coming up. Lol, another thing I can fail at. Can’t fucking wait. Probably won’t even bother revising.

My brothers girlfriend dumped him, so I think he’s abit lonely. He keeps trying to talk to me. Shame I don’t have the confidence to have a conversation with him. Last time I had a conversation that lasted more than 10 seconds with him was when we were in Ireland I thinks. So, 4-5 years ago. Paha! Man, that’s pathetic.

My paranoid schizophrenic type thoughts are back. ZOMG THE TOWEL DROPPED SHIT RUN SOMETHINGS HERE IT’S GONNA KILL ME FUCK A LEAF MOVED OH GOD THE LEAFS AFTER ME OH GOD WHAT WAS THAT -hallucinates-. I actually am hallucinating me thinks. Keep hearing my name being called, keep seeing things moving in my peripheral vision, not little dots, full blown objects and imaging people and faces. Meh, always knew I was teetering on the edge of insanity. Sucks to be me.

Thinking about my Dad alot again. What I don’t have and will never have. What an abomination I am. What I am the result of. How I must remind my Mom of those horrible nights when he’d violate her. Aw shucks.

Oh, and I self harmed again. Made a painting with the stuff. It was fun. Blood is surprisingly similar is texture and consistency to water colors. But, that’s logical seeing as blood mostly consists of water. I think the painting looks much better oxidized. More… dark.

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