It’s been a while that I like involving in these stuffs. Watching news, searching on the internet, reading and seeing the interview. My friends told me not do that, but I just can’t help. I don’t wanna talk to them anymore cuz it’ll only scare them. I’m frustrated, sometimes I ask myself, why do we need to live? We will die sooner or later, why don’t we end this tragedy instead of continue suffering? Sound crazy right? But you will never know how I feel. I can only see the dark side of things, the failure and the useless life. I’m a fresh graduate with GPA 3.8 pretty high, huh? But compare to my friends who are not so smart, they have a successful life. I got canceled from this scholarship and it just drives me crazy…. I’m tired… so so tired… I don’t wanna be compared to others… don’t want them to force me to work hard and to earn the achievement…. I really don’t wanna live…
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It’s hard to be a person who has to find her own values in life. Most accept what they’re given, don’t question, and become successful little robots. Perhaps because you are smart, you seek more. I can’t tell you how to find it because we are all individuals, but sleep as much as you want, and when you tire of sleeping, look to Nature, the perfect beauty of a tree with deep roots, and find your own way. I wish you well.
Thanks for the advice. It’s hard to figure out one’s value, you are right. I don’t wanna be a robots either. My life is not that bad as it seems… I’m not that popular but I did have my friends who care about me… I hang out and have a chit chat sometimes… I’m interested in music and cheer up those idols like other adults do… But I’m still not happy! Am I too stressful? people find me to complain about their situation to seek for advises… Can’t they tell that I almost become a psycho? I wanna find the answer, the good reasons to live and how to enjoy life and be happy as others. I did sleep a lot cuz I have nothing to do; hopefully, I could wake up some day and find a good answer to live this life!!!