whatever.

I don’t really feel depressed anymore, per se.  More that I lack the desire to live.  Everything is so pointless.  College is a waste of time.  This is my fourth year of college and yet the only useful information I’ve learned could be compounded into 2 or 3 classes.  Everything else is mostly just a repeat of high school (except easier sometimes) or useless trivia.

In theory, I have friends.  But in practice?  Let’s just say I haven’t had more than 5 minutes of conversation with any of my so-called friends in the past, oh, 2 months about.   And although it would be nice to hear from them, I’m not even sure if I care.  Usually I at least want to make friends.  At this point, I’m not even interested.  Whenever I go to class, I talk to the least amount of people as possible.  I don’t feel lonely anymore.  Or maybe, I’ve just felt lonely for so long that I can’t even tell the difference anymore.  Or, more likely, loneliness is a much preferred emotion than the irritation I feel when forced to socialize.

And how the hell am I supposed to write an essay when I’m in such a shitty mood all the fucking time?