Hello I’m new here. i found this site a couple of nights ago and felt connected to most people’s posts on here. Basically my story is that I’ve been battling depression and suicidal thoughts for the past three years and am seriously thinking about ending it all. I’ve tried different medications and the ones I’m on now have helped some, but i just don’t feel like life on earth is cut out for me. i don’t enjoy being the person that I am – most of the time I just feel empty and withdrawn from everything, like my body is present, but the ‘I’ is dead. I can’t make up my mind on what I want to pursue in my career, and even if I did know, I don’t have the motivation or good enough grades right now to make that next step. It seems over the past few years I just keep losing more and more friends. But I don’t blame people – I can understand that it must not be too fun to be around someone who is pessimistic and always feeling down. I also haven’t had a relationship in 2 years and have never been in a serious long-term relationship either. I feel very lonely because of that fact, and I’ve lost hope for anything because how can I be in a relationship if I don’t like myself? I feel so helpless in my life. I can’t handle going to a job or school every day, I can’t handle being around people, I can’t handle dealing with my emotions, I can’t handle eating normal…I’ve lost the will to go on and for the time being, I’m trying to come up with the best way to die.
p.s.
I am currently seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist. I’d really appreciate no “Life is worth living” type of comments please.
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3 comments
It’s your life. So it’s your choice if and when you want to end it.
Why cant you handle being around people?(we all the same people i mean. Dont be scard of them(us) cause we all just a bunch of freak’s at the end of the day)
I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life neither. I had shitty grades, didn’t have motivation for anything, was mad down about life, no confidence, no self esteem, and was a mad push over. One day someone I know comes up to me and kinda pushes me into the Marine Corps. I didn’t ask questions, didn’t do anything, I just enlisted for really no reason at all. My life has changed so much for the better. I have everything I didn’t have and I’m loving the shit out of life. I’m not saying join the Marine Corps, just be open to new ideas
Dr. dolittle,
My anxiety goes up being around other people. I begin to self-analyze and feel like an alien because of my depression and wanting death. Even when I’m with my friend or roomate sometimes I’ll start to feel worse about myself because they’ll be talking to me, and I’m listening to them, but nothing will click in my brain, like I have no response. I just feel like a sack of blah. And it upsets me that I’ve lost the old ‘me’, who my friends came to like. I feel sorry that they have to deal with the replacement.
TC,
I moved across the country and that for a while greatly improved my outlook on life and my ambition, but I just keep relapsing now