I’ve been here for a while now

Hi every0ne.  Kind of new here.  At least new to posting here.  I have read so much and learned so much and I’m thinking that maybe this might be my last straw.  This could be the last place I might find something that can change my mind.  I’m 38, soon to be divorced after 16 years of “marriage” and still lonely after so many years.  Guess I’ve never been quite right and the one that I thought could help me become someone only wanted to be a “roommate”.  I should have left her years and years ago.  But I didn’t.  I have wanted to die for as long as I can remember.  So this really doesn’t have a lot to do with the pending divorce, but it sure is helping things along.  Well just wanted to say Hi.  I’ll be hanging out here for a few weeks and seeing if I can relate to anyone else here.  Maybe I can even say something to change someone’s life.