My mom, everyday I ask her when I’m going to see the psychiatrist and every day she says she is waiting to hear back from them. This has been going on for 3 weeks, I know she is lying to me, she doesn’t want to help me. She knows I want to kill myself, she knows about how I cut myself every-night, she knows I drink all the time too, and what does she do about it, what does she do to help me? nothing, absolutely nothing. She’s my own mother and she wont help me! I have to get my friend to drive me to my AA meetings, I have to talk to the school psychiatrist because she wont get me my own. She doesn’t care, thats the worst part. After I told her everything she looked at me like I was such a disappointment, like she was ashamed I am her child. She probably is, after all she’s given me I don’t even want to be here, I guess it really is selfish of me, but I can’t help it, it’s not all my fault right?
I just wish she would get me help, it would help her too, I just need her to help me, why can’t she see how depressed I am, how bad the scars on my legs are, why can’t she just realize what her own daughter needs? My life needs to get better, I can’t keep living depressed and regretting everything I do, I can’t live everyday in fear of my own actions, I cant live everyday without help, without hope, without love.
11 comments
Just picked up a year on the 12th of Oct.
It’s just one day at a time, if your still drinking, …….. just keep going to the meetings, been in and out of AA since 92.
My 1st DUI was in 09, I went back to AA before the courts sent me. I picked up a disire chip, …….. sat in the back for 10 weeks, still drinking at night.
I wish I could take a drink, yet it won’t make anything better.
What I wish I had to drink is a bottle of morphine, that would make it all go away, permanantly.
I can wish for it all I want yet that is some really hard stuff to find.
I had to dose my dying father with it, morhine is a liquid form.
Thinking of the mom thing you got going.
If you “Present” yourself at an Emergency Room and say your suicidal by law they cannot turn you away.
They will admitt you. Without your mom being there.
Now, possibly there are financial issues your mom is postponing, these are big issues when people are facing all kinds of hardships. Your family may have money problems that you just don’t know about.
I’m just putting that out there for you to consider.
If your not drinking then your missing out, its a temporary relief from everything, all the problems go away for a while, everything is peaceful for the time being, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. Money is not a problem for my parents they simply don’t care and if they don’t want me get better then I drink all they have and I will cut myself until they realize they have to help me.
Libby-I’m sorry you have sh&t parents. I would have done anything to have my own child, I have so much empathy, too much…because I get hurt soooo much. What hurts me now? To see that I parent my 6 lb dog better than some assclowns who bring kids here and lose interest when its not fun anymore and the cute toddler is the angsty unbridled teen. TELL THEM YOU NEED HELP. Sit them down and front of you and lake them watch you cutting. God knows they deserve to hear the truth. Please it is not your fault. Realize, Dear its the luck of the draw on the sperm club but they need to know you are serious. Jesus what is wrong with adults?
Call your shrink and tell her you need help.
@Libby, please stop hurting yourself just to get your parents to help you, it obviously isn’t working. I’m sure there are councilling hotlines in your country that can advise you on how to get psychiatric help if you’re a minor.
Libby, people (about 50 percent that I’ve met) are usually self centered, arogant, gutterminded, assholes. (at least in my experiance) those people need to be given simple tasks. Unfortunetly suicide and depression in general never lead to simple solutions. I personaly agree with mitsuko. People (receding back to the normal people at least to me. Maybe I’m all alone in my opinion about people) may not react well to you being blunt, but on the bright side certianly something would happen, and if your looking for change that is a solid way to achieve your goal. I’m sorry I have a fucked up veiwpoint of your parrents but they kinda sound like people… I wish I could destroy the denial, the doubt, the fear, and the pain in your life and your parrents, but alak I am useless to be of aid. (also I had a bad dream involving you. You comited suicide because of something I put on one of your posts, and then because of the guilt I stepped out in front of a car). Dammit I am a creep sorry I’ll shut up now. You have the name of someone who drinks and has depression and is about your age. so I need to ask, is your last name Wardlo?
Libby-I’ve found unfortunately most adults just don’t handle their own troubles well, they may not understand your pain, or how to deal. In fact I bet they don’t. Call a help line and ask for intervention in a constructive way.
Mitsuko66, ……… its the luck of the draw on the sperm club ??? how about the luck on the draw of the fellopian tubes, lol.
hey libby I understand the escapism of drinking, yet it never put me in a place of no feeling, numbness. I hear that alot from other AA’s, thats what drinking did for them.
The only thing that numbs me are barbituates, and haven’t been able to get those since the early 80’s.
The point is I need my presence of mind right now, I have a mission and drinking will interfear at this time.
@Caucajun-there is no luck of the tubes, bro or the eggs…its all scrambled at least mine anyway, and because sperm is cheap, I’ll back that any day.
I have showed my parents my cuts, i have over 100 on my legs now, I show them and you know what they say? “STOP DOING THESE THINGS FOR ATTENTION AND GO TO YOUR ROOM AND DON’T COME DOWN UNTIL YOUR GONNA STOP LYING” they fucking think I do it for attention? they don’t even listen when I tell them I have problems. And when they send me to my room, well thats then I cut myself again and again and again. They don’t want to help me, they are ashamed of me and they probably just want me gone if I leave…… they will be happier. Even when I tell them how I want to leave they send me to my room and every-night I have to call my friend crying and talk to her about my problems. She probably cares more then my parents do, she’s the one that got me into AA, she’s the one who got me to go to the school counselor. She’s the one who calls my parents to tell them how bad things are in my life, and they still wont fucking listen.