December 5th, 2011 by Jkanariya

Once you come to terms with the fact that you’re going to die it all becomes so easy. It feels like a weight being lifted off my shoulders. I’m peaceful. If life means living in hysterics, being crushed by uncertainties and so on I don’t want it.

I don’t remember when I truly felt like yelling out loud I was happy. But I can’t even compare myself with other people that want to die and have tragic lives and want out. I just feel empty, I can’t continue. I basically fail at life because I have no will to go through it.

When I see the others ahead of me, succeeding at everything I feel sick. It’s not like they even try hard but they are sly to say the least. But the world doesn’t care about that, they just care about appearances. I’ve tried being myself, tried to be pretty inside, thinking that people would notice me. But society just requires you to change who you are, to kill yourself. It’s stupid, foolish. No matter how many pretty words they use the facts are they are going to do an once over and if they find you boring the won’t utter an word to you.

This is the damned world we live in, it’s so sad I can’t bear to watch it, it’s unfair and even if you try to stop it all and change it you won’t be able to. That’s the hard truth.

Some may call me a coward, but I don’t care. I might have called myself a coward too some time ago, but it’s unbearable, I can’t stand it.

That’s why I want to die now, while I’m still so to say who I am, before I change to meet the rotten standards of the world,  I’m tired of witnessing  all of the chaos.


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