Where do I start…
Well my attitude is never consistent with regards to whether I’m cool, pissed, despressed etc…It’s always oscillating.
Even though no one can know who I am on here, I still feel awkward stating what my problem is…. (YES, I DIAGNOSED MYSELF)
Suicide thoughts whirl around my head once in a while but were very rampant from Sept 2010.
Actually i’m confusing myself right about now… I dunno
I don’t know where people get the courage to actually go that far anyway. I’m too much of a ***** to attempt it, whether it being ODing to hanging or whatever…
Self-harming is a no go area for me aswell… If I did try to accelerate my death in anyway, I don’t want to feel it. NO PHYSICAL PAIN.
I think i’m blabbing now… But writing this shit out gives a sense of relief for me.
I think I’ll attempt again later.
I feel to read other peoples thoughts now….
4 comments
If writing gives you relief then keep at it. Maybe that’s all you need to do; get it out there. (Not trying to downplay your feelings or anything)
You don’t explain what your diagnosis is. What do you think your issue is? I think self-diagnosis is a great thing as long as you are using it to understand and not avoid.
I have tried to end my existence many times…the first time at 4 years of age. I have similiar issues i believe.
Now that I am 50 the perspective is changed. Thank God. But I continue to get sucked into the suicide feelings…..that is all it is….and usually when I’m having a cosmic temper tantrum….cuz life is NOT fair
Just telling you so maybe you have a chance to be successful, to get beyond your issues instead of just getting through them as i did
You need to have something positive to focus on. Good luck. Don’t quit looking. Whether you like it or not, whether you believe it or not, your life DOES have purpose and it only gets harder when you quit trying.
Everyone thinks they have some big purpose that they are not fulfilling. Your true purpose is to live the best life you can, try not to cause too much damage, and help when you can. We are all in this together.
Good Luck
Namaste
Amakua
hey i know the feeling , everyone does , i get what you saying anout slef harm a no go , i couldnt do that either but i have OD and attempted so many times :/ im here is u want to talk
Sounds like me in many ways. Any chance you have dissoactive disorder aswell? I prefer no self harm but the occasional swallowing of pills really doesn’t harm does it? Eh they don’t work on me anyway. Actually getting the courage for it mainly because of no other options or because of the time limit. My 8 years for example. Writing does help- i’ve actually writing books to get published. Also you can write a diary or just write on the site. We’ll listen without judging you. As Amakua said we are all in this together.
Take care
Katex