Tried to finish myself off, half assed attempt though.
I tried to suffocate myself by inhaling CO2 for a long time, needless to say I’m still breathing. The last thing I remember is sweating profusely, feeling the desperate need to take a breath of fresh air, bundled up in 2 thick blankets with a pillow in my face. I was dizzy, hoping to just pass out and be done with it. Indeed I passed out (fell asleep) my bet is on the last one and woke up the following morning feeling miserable. I can’t understand how I got out of the blankets since they were wrapped around me kind of tight and they were pretty big. Regardless the pillow didn’t help.
And now I’m contemplating on how to end my life. I have one idea but who knows if it’ll work.
I feel tired, so tired. Ever since I’ve decided to die I feel peaceful, never knew that I could go to school not being pressured knowing that it’ll all end somehow. But it’s hard to end it, since life knows how to fool you and give you good times, but they’re just little things that may deter you from wanting to die. But eventually you realize there is no other way, for me it has become a must.
I have no will to continue, it’s suffocating.
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in 98 I parked thhe car in the small garage, ran the hose from tail pipe inside car. neighbor saw the car running thru a window @ 3 am. I survived also. Yet I had to spent the next 24 hrs in a hypobaric chamber, helps unsaturate the body of the carbon monoxide.
I would have died had I not been seen, and for that guy to be sober enough to see the dashboard lights was a miracle. May be a curse, I would have been long gone by now.
Alot of people complain about polutions caused by cars. The catylityc converter removes over 90% of carbon monoxide. Had I tied that stunt before 1972 or so I woulda been dead in under an hour.
CO2- You mean Carbon Dioxide.That’s a painful way to go,it’s like holding your breath.Monoxide is a better way.
Yes I have tried a number of ways of suffocating my self, Helium with a bag, freaked out and took it off.
Then I ve tried ******** at least 2 times in which the same thing happened, yet I was able to keep the mask on longer, to the very edge of passing out, it happens quick under three or four breaths.
I was going to try it again night before last, I never did get a pressure regulator, the bottle has a valve on it. I have know idea how much is left in the bottle, I purchased 40 cubic ft, yet I thought maybe some how it would run out and my roomie would find me alive, then of course would come the NutHut so I didn’t cjance it.
I think the h bag and ******** should work if done correct to the book.I’ll probably go like this.I was thinking of hanging but I’d have to be completely out of my mind jumping 6 foot out of a tree.Fucking heck,some people just commit suicide without a second thought and are successful,then you’ve got us that manage to cock everything up
Life can feel constraining, I’m sure.
But imagine, by comparison, how constraining death is–
There is no freedom in death, you can’t move, or act, or think…
What in your life makes it feel so suffocating death feels preferable?
What would you choose to do with your life, if you could choose?
The problem seemed to me ( and I know I’m right ) was FEAR of letting go of life, this physical connection that allows us to experience this existence in a different way than we truely are spirit.
I wasn’t ready to go. I have been sitting here for days fondeling a .45 and cannot do it, it;s not my time.
SoftSoul who writes here posted some stuff that just shifted years of ways of seeing what the life expericence is by taking a look at what NDEs are. Near Death Experience.
We are all of One Whole a part of eveything.
So I know with in 2 to 3 days I will walk into a office tell them my name, they arrest me. I will go to trial, yet no defense money so that means Court Appointed whooppee !!!
At 51 years of age, I will walk thru that door and likely never see the outside world again.
I’ve never been to prison, yet know thats where I’m supposed to be headed for some reasosn other than the charges alone. One second a free wanted man, yet free, then a split second later the cuffs are on and the journey begins. I’m gonna regret this choice for as long as I there, so if my life ends before a release thats fine also.
I told my sponsor of the choice and he told me exactly what I just said were the reasons for going. Self awareness, unselfisness, redemption through God and the legal system. He said I was to be there to help someone else possibly.
@ Sherlock, I encourage you to do some research, the body is confining…consciousness survives and one can think and feel much more alive than ever actually. Death does not exist, it’s a shift of perspective…..you may want to revisit your perception on that one.
Hey there softsoul,
I gonna email you today tonight,, softsoul
@softsoul:
The body is confining, for sure.
But I think death is more so.
If consciousness survives death, you’d still be conscious of all that pains you in life…and then you can’t act on it.
In any case, I don’t believe consciousness does survive death, but that’s OK.
I agree, life can feel confining.
But it doesn’t have to feel that way…
@Sherlock. …….. I think the sense I get of an afterlife an awareness that we are part of everything else, which would mean like thinking about the size of the universe and everything thats in it, whoa thats some doggy do do.
I don’t know either, yet when my time comes I will never fear it the same way I feared it before. There will allways be some fear until I leave this physical realm.
@caucajun32:
I don’t believe in an afterlife, myself.
I don’t think there is anything beyond the physical, except what we think up ourselves, what we invent with our own memories and imaginations.
When time runs out on our lives, it runs out.
But that doesn’t mean it should be hastened…
In Greek legends, heroes die on top, at the peak of their powers.
I hope everyone can reach their own peak before they even consider ending their life…
There ARE peaks for everyone to have–I’m no optimist, for sure, but everyone has a peak they can attain…it’s not all valleys…