all over again….

i always feel so used. No one accepts me for me. i’m assaulted everyday by both dudes and chicks grabbing my tits, it makes me sick! you’re supposed to be my friend. the one who doesn’t care about the size of my chest or my ass. I’m supposed to feel safe around you. i hate my body. if i could, i would get these DDD’s chopped off my chest. if i was ballsy enough, i would do it my self.

i spent the night with you as a friend, but left, feeling like a piece of meat. you touched me, in a way friends weren’t meant to. you made me feel even more ugly even though you said i was beautiful. i went home and cut it deep into my arms I HATE ME and watched the blood gush from them. i needed someone to call, not to tell them what happened-because i never show how i feel- but just to hear someone i can trust. that used to be you, and now I’m alone again. and Jessika….she sat there, and heard me wail….i didn’t want it. I DONT WANT IT!!!! why wasn’t i more forceful?! i could’ve stopped you!!!!

in the morning we all played it off as if it were a game. but i left hours before you, because i had to get to my blades. i felt dirty and used. like i was nothing but a game to you. someone to help you explore your sexuality. and when you were done, you told me you loved another….a man. why imani?! you were my friend! i trusted you, and you betrayed me. you’re just like everyone else….I’m alone all over again.