been there done that .

People always seem to ask why im never smiling or lauging . too many people ask whats wrong .

No one sees the scars on my stomach , legs , or wrist , people dont really get that shit gets real behind closed doors . No one knew for the longest time that i used to cut night after night after night . My family would be up stairs and I would be taking another razor to my body , making new or re opening cuts . It got to the point where my mom didnt even notice me anymore . she took his side and pushed me over the edge . I took 38 pills cut cried my eyes out then went to her and told her i needed help . no one gets how much that takes . That fact that i went to my mom and told her ” heey i cut the shit out of my leg tonight and took 38 pills . lets go get help ” no one gets how big of a struggle that was . I went to the mantal ward for two weeks . it was hell but i was better . on the car ride there i felt sooo alone and hated . I thought no one would ever understand , until i got down stairs and saw all the other people who self harmed or overdosed . your not alone no matter what you think . the cutting didnt stop untill about a month ago . i went to drugs smoking and drinnking . did that help ? no not at all . it made things worse .

All I can say is that shit hurts sooo fuckin badly sometimes . but once you get the help you need , your frown or mad face starts to turn into a smile .