So i’m not sure how to react to the unfairness brought about by double standards, gender inequalities and plain bias in my household.
This may seem trivial but i need to have a bit of a rant!
BACKGROUND: I have two brothers, 30 and 20. My eldest has a wife and recently a child too. My brother had a long term relationship with a girl for about 2 years when we were younger and my whole family liked her since she was my best friend and they all knew her. I now have a boyfriend, we’ve been together for 3 years.
My mother is obviously bias and treats him badly. She never invites him over for dinner and anytime i ask to see him she answers “why”. And now it seems the last straw has been broken. Before my brother was married his wife was accepted straight away, within one year of them being together she was invited to EVERYTHING and her name appeared on any card from the family.
But my boyfriend has never had such privileges.  I had to beg for him to be invited to Christmas lunch and his name is still vacant from all the family Christmas cards.
This angers me because the reason my mother doesn’t like my boyfriend would HAVE to be because my younger brother (20) and him were in a fight about a year ago. My brother and i were fighting at the time and he was about to hit me. My boyfriend stepped in and pushed him back. Unfortunately i will never understand why my mother has blamed my boyfriend since i could have been badly injured in that struggle.
I am extremely angry at the thought of my family not getting along with my boyfriend, because i truly believe i will probably marry him one day (and i don’t even believe in marriage). He is the only person that still helps me through every day, and doesn’t judge me for cutting myself. He is the only one that tries to understand me.
I’m not sure how to react to all this. Does anyone have any advice?
1 comment
I can’t say I relate to your situation, but my advice to you would be to explain this to your mother, if you haven’t already. It sounds like the fight your brother and boyfriend got into was justified. Your boyfriend was defending you from your own brother that was trying to harm you. Sometimes it’s hard for people to forgive. From your mother’s perspective she sees it as someone hurting her son. And parents find that hard to forgive. You should tell your mom your feelings about your boyfriend and how you think he gets treated unfairly. Make sure not to make it seem like you’re attacking her, tell her you understand why she feels the way she does, but that you think she doesn’t give your boyfriend enough credit. No one is a mind reader, make your thoughts known, start a dialogue. Hope that helps. 🙂