I don’t know what to do anymore I mean I have a loving family that loves me I have “so called friends” but idk what to do. I try so hard every day to be happy and fit in. I mean I don’t go to a big school so there’s not that many people to deal with but sometimes I wish I did live in the city that way I could always stay out of my house and drink and smoke and cut myself. I started to smoke regular cigerettes not to long ago but I stopped because my mom would smell them every time I came back in side. I mean the very last smoke I had i had to sneak out of my house at 1:30 in the morning. I have people that I hang out with but I wouldn’t call them my friends. I mean they’ll say they’re there for me but every time I need them they ignore me. People are always say EW! when I try to talk to them. People hate me Because I’m red headed and all this shit on here are just people doing there jobs what they are getting paid for say they have to say nice things. I mean I have never had a girl friend I’ve never kissed a girl and I’m 15. All I want is a girl that I can talk to that I can hold and call mine. But I don’t even have a guy friend that is there for me to help me through. I don’t have a best friend. I don’t even think I have friends. I think the people I hang out with me call me there friend because I buy them things but idk what to do. I want to kill myself. I’ve had thoughts of it before but never tried it before but I think tonight I’m going to try I am so emotional i’m SO angry and SAD right now and don’t know what to do……
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2 comments
Sometimes when you are faced with a difficult situation, we want so bad to fix it…understandable. What if you did nothing, because then you only have one problem.
The moment you try to do something, you have two problems. Think about it. The tendency is to get up in your head and see all the negative and feel all the negative, make conclusions…and then…. Just a suggestion for ya! It’s frustrating I know.
Perhaps you don’t need to do anything, just relax and adjust your perspective on your situation. You’re 15…what’s with the pressure you’re putting on yourself. Were you raised to place unrealistic demands on yourself…you’re in essence beating yourself up when you do that…..
I wasn’t going out with anyone til I was 18 and I had a few unhealthy relationships. When you allow things to be, and do your best to be content with who and what you have you’ll find you’re more calm and everything you do want will come your way. I’m twice your age plus 11….lol… trust the experience in these words. Life is not a race.
I know how you feel. I didn’t kiss anyone until I was in college. I know it’s going to bother you until it happens. It’s difficult to just slog on while you’re waiting. Just go a day at a time. That’s all any of us can ask you. Just make it until tomorrow. That’s what I’ve been made to promise to my wife (yes, I finally got one, and she’s as big a nerd as I am 🙂 for the last three nights in a row.
David V