it’s an everyday battle.

December 4th, 2011by forthepeople

In my psychology class I learned that in order for ýour body to maintain homeostasis, it will need to experience the opposite emotion to keep the balance inside your body. I can’t help but think how wrong that is. For so long I’ve struggled and been so..down. Where is my happiness? When is my body going to make me happy? Am I the one to blame?

This sucks. It really does suck, but actually I’m almost more comfortable here than I am when I’m happy. To be so truly happy is rare, and when it does happen its almost uncomfortable. I used to often think about why it is so much eaiser to be sad, to be a failure, to focus on everything negative. I could never really find an answer to tell you the truth. The closest I got was that you never need to put an effort to be sad, a failure, or be negative. To be happy or successful is so much harder. To attain such a perfect, wonderful life is SO much harder. Why try to attain for such beauty that is hardly even a chance for me when I can simply give up? The truth is, I’m so tired and exhuasted from trying. I’m tired of the constant nit picking and nagging. I’m tired of the word “No” being the answer to everything. I’m tired of every fake person and every fake smile. For once in my life could I see something real. Can someone or something be a reason for my exisitance, please?

I’m tired of trying for something that isn’t even real.

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