Merry Christmas.

Hello

I read your post and I am trying to correctly understand it. When you mean of “this girl” you mean the girl in you ? On the one side, the past is nothing to blame oneself about, regardless what it was. What happens my dear girl is that we, as individuals, evolve, our mind mutates along with time. Each one of us at a different pace. Some people have wonderful life conditions, enjoy great lives, and are always sound and fine. Others dont have that luck. (of course, I include myself in the unlucky ones).

However, a true fact of life is that it is dynamic and changes sometimes for the best, others for the worse. Usually those who are already very bad, can only change for something better and the other way around too.

Today I was watching a youtube video where a Russian girl, just for fun was sitting on an iron bar protruding from a 300 meters high building. She was just greeting and saying hello while their friends were just taping that with their mobiles. There are no words to describe that mind. It was not just her, her friends were like her too. None of them had the slightest trace of responsibility in their minds, not even a dog would walk along that iron bar just twenty inches wide. Any animal would identify the danger and would never do it. However, those complete mindless fucktards were having fun with that.

I am sure that in twenty years, that girl will be taking her hands to her head watching that video and will freak out and horrify herself at how she could do that. Well, at that time, she did not have the sense of danger or responsibility developed in her mind, so it is pointless to judge herself 20 years ago with today’s mind.

So, the only thing that counts for you is the future. You are 18 and I would give a hand to be 18. The opportunity to plan and live a life. Yes, I know, you are in pain and would like to have someone to cuddle in and receive the love that will give you the feeling of safety. Ideally it should have been the parents. Many of us never got that. Yes, we carry a scar for that. But at the same time, you are blessed with sensitivity. Also, if you are mature, even though it seems to regret to be, that is another bless because having a mature mind when you are young, is a very powerful mind for success in this life. More than any diploma or degree.

If you are awake to opportunities in life, if you have your mind ready to identify and trace a plan in your life, you really get it. It doesnt matter how you look like. There is a suitable plan for everybody. But it is important to have one. I did not have any plan, simply because I was so retarded that I never thought I had to bother about it.

So, tomorrow grab a pen and a paper and thoroughly make plans A, B and C in life. If one fails you go with plan B and so on.

Also, if you are a girl, find a good boyfriend. I mean a good boy, not a fucktard or not someone who does not understand you. But because of your current situation, dont let either some too old to take advantage of that. Adults are keen to spot young troubled girls to use them for their own satisfaction. Find someone up to 7 years older than you or so.

best regards

O