My early morning thoughts

I wake up.  I look at the clock.  It’s 5:30 AM.  My wife is asleep.  My daughter has, at some time during the night, crawled into bed with us.  My mother is out asleep on the couch.  My head is ringing slightly, my neck and shoulders are tight, my stomach is tight to the point of nausea.  I stare at the ceiling trying not to move.  How can I get out of this bed without waking anyone, and slip downstairs to the garage?  I know there’s a heavy duty extension cord sitting on the workbench.  Nobody has picked it up and hidden it away yet.  I know the garage door bracket is strong enough to hold me.

I get up, and they don’t notice.  Now is my chance, but darn…I need to pee.  Seriously?  I go into the master bath and relieve myself, but it takes a dozen seconds to get going because my guts are wound so tight I can’t relax enough to start.  Finally, it starts working.  I don’t flush, that would be too loud.  I turn around and she’s still asleep.  I begin to tiptoe across the bedroom to the door, and the damn floor starts squeaking.  Another step, another squeak.  I hadn’t thought of this.  I reach the door, and she asks me, “David, what are you doing?”  I say nothing.  She repeats the question.  I still say nothing.  Damn, it’s over.  Opportunity lost.  She gets up from the bed, takes me by the hand, leads me back to bed, tells me to lay down.  I hesitate, but eventually do so.  I have my back to her.  She snuggles up behind me and puts her arms around me.  She grasps my wrists with her hands.  Then she falls back asleep while I resent her for stopping me.  But, as I lay there, the impulse subsides, and soon I snuggle backward into her.

I let her continue to hold onto my wrists, and fall asleep.

David