My friend, the end.

December 7th, 2011by TheShout

In my mind it’s been a reoccurring theme over the years but has started to become a daily constant. Death, the end, what a wonderful solution. No more conflict, misery and chaotic me or them. Probably just a case of depression and being ‘sick and tired’ but I’m starting to feel real inflexible with the world. Someone famous once said “hey, you’ve got to hide your love away”…. yes I agree. There was a potential to achieve positivity, well being for all, peace and happiness but the opportunities have been badly managed, inadvertently wasted and lost, time after time after time. So, time to rebuild and start again? Nah… selfish ole me has an overriding desire to drift off into a deep sleep of no return, seems reasonable if not preferable in comparison to dying by unintended tragedy like a car crash, heart attack, murderous attack.
Suicide, seems like a fair exchange, I get to where I’m going on my terms and we are spared further episodes of my devastating destructive screaming meltdowns.
Of course I could locate in a new country, a fresh start but I’ve done that quite a few times already and eventually the relationships get blasted and torn asunder, it gets nasty, it’s not right, I want an end to it, I don’t want to be me any longer.

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